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Chicago Cubs Jokes

They won't be serving beer for the rest of the year at Chicago Cubs baseball games.

They lost the opener.

To the Chicago Cubs

Thanks, you've doomed us all.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Legendary Chicago Cubs broadcaster Harry Caray gets pulled over for going about 90 on the way to the ballpark ... (long)

He thinks his reputation will spare him from a ticket, but it's clear the cop is serious when he asks for Caray's license and registration. Harry, probably already three sheets to the wind, replies, "You know officer, I would give you that, but this is a stolen car." The cop is a bit taken aback and...

I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series.

108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy.

Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series...

I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why Pro Athletes Can't Have Regular Jobs... (long but good)

1 Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the
kids to copulate me."


2 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, which...

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