Chernobyl Jokes

...China, America, and Germany came too help with their state of the art cleanup robots, and sent them out to show them off to each other.

The Chinese robot broke down even before it could reach the cleanup site.

The Americans cheered as their robot performed its task in the highly i... read more

I give it four thumbs up!

They wag their tail.

Because he was going threw a meltdown.

He actually grew up in Ukraine in the 1980's and was able to count at least 11 historical inaccuracies on one hand.

After watching the TV Show he told me that he managed to count 14 historical inacuracies within the first 20 minutes... ...then he ran out of fingers.

a glow stick

Someday someone will enter without a glove.

An old woman is shouting at a Ukrainian farmers' market: "Potatoes from Chernobyl! Potatoes from Chernobyl!"
A passer-by asks her, "Why are you telling everybody that your potatoes are from Chernobyl? No one will buy them from you."
“They do, my dear, they do. For mothers-in-law, for neighbo... read more

and boy are these arms legs.

Fall Out Boy

It's seven

There were so many extra-testicular activities

Fallout

After all, they can count to 15 on their fingers.

THIS GUY!

Most of them are two-faced.

And I gotta say I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.

'Yes there was" answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.

"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"

"Yes, absolutely"

answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.

It was rad

I know a man who just watched the series drama Chernobyl. He lives right outside of the place.
He says he counted 9 factual mistakes in the drama series on one hand

Have you ever seen Ronald Reagan's response to the Chernobyl incident?

He thought the Russians were just "overreacting."

How could they understand each other? None of them spoke English.

I told this joke as an 8 year old back in '89 and my older brother got so mad at me. He was screaming "They're Russian! They speak Russian!! They don't speak English you idiot!!".


My mom and dad got the joke, so th... read more

They say ”Its just like Disneyland.” Except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Nuclear fishin'.

A man goes to a farmer’s market and sees apples and a sign that says “Apples from Chernobyl”.

The man says “What are you crazy? Who would buy apples from Chernobyl?” and the seller says “You’d be surprised. Popular present for mothers-in-law, the boss....”

She said no and had a complete meltdown.

Because 2 heads are better than one.

But every one went straight over his heads

Hot and non-existent

I got glowing reviews

In the power plant of Chernobyl, our glorious marvel of technology, Soviet ingenuity and craftsmanship allowed hard working Soviet civil engineers, pinnacle of technology advancement worldwide, to fulfill five year plan of power generation in mere five milliseconds.

Everyone suffered from radiation poisoning, except the lead guitarist.

It achieved the Five Year Plan goal of energy generation... in 0.001 nanoseconds.

On the one hand, he was friendly but on the other hand, he was quite clingy. But on the third hand, he had eight fingers.

6 Finger Death Punch

Thankfully by the time I get back I will have a few to spare

What do you call something as big as a house, uses tons of gas, and cuts apples into 3 pieces?



A Soviet machine made to cut apples into 4 pieces.

I should have been more careful spelling “naked miners.”

In theory yes, but those damn Swedes couldn't keep their mouth shut.

Although I think it was a bit hotter in 1986.

The RAD levels were off the charts! Everyone was totally sick!

He says, "You look taller." His friend says, "Yeah. I grew a couple feet."

“One beer, please,” asks the American before downing the beer.

“Da, two beer,” asks the Russian in response, downing both.

Not wanting to be outdone, the American ordered;

“Three beers and shot of whiskey, please,” before downing them all in quick succession.

Not one to b... read more

"Dammit, Stacy! How many times have I explained that's impossible?!"

"I don't know Ben, *how many*?!"

"Well let's just count it on my fingers then ...

One!

Two!

Three!

Four!

Five!

Six!

Seven!

Eight!

Nine! ... read more

No, I corrected, I just said they were glowing!

It’s not surprising. I’ve grown another foot!

I guess they really want exposure.

Pretty much, yeah, only the apple cores should be buried in concrete afterwards.

Seems like a sensitive topic to make a tv show out of. Think they'll address the elephant's foot in the room?

I heard he grew a foot since the last time I saw him.

But this time, a real one.

They were shocked to find a man still living in the area seemingly unaffected by the radiation. They ask the man if he would return with them to conduct some tests to which he agreed.

They explained that as the man was probably highly irradiated, he would have to put on some protective clothi... read more

Third hand

Bill, Kevin, Tom, and Steve

He was always such a goody 3 shoes.

Fission chips.

Afterwards I spent weeks glowing and radiating happiness.

He said he was all ears.

That post gave me cancer.

12

They’ll both kill your dog

It will be like Disney World, except the six foot tall mouse is real.

they scramble in all directions when you walk up to them.

None. They already glow.

So far, there are 27.

It was a new, clear reaction.

Chernobyl fallout

I'm telling you. I saw it with my own five eyes

“I can count the number of times i’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand son”

“How many times?” I asked

“14 , it’s 14”

...Chernobyl fallout.





(*has to be read in a British accent*)

Kids from Chernobyl radiate

Eggs Quarantine

Apparently it would be more, but people ran out of fingers.

He won the Chernobyl Piece Prize.