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Caught Red Handed Jokes

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When I was younger, I stole a cookie after Sunday school. As I was creeping away, I was caught red handed by a priest.

I was fucked.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Caught red handed

I walked in on my wife masturbating while on her period again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today a young man was detained after being caught red handed with a giant magnifying glass. He'd been focusing the light to a small dot on to peoples bottoms until they caught fire.

He was prosecuted for arse-sun

A young boy asks his dad:

A young boy asks his dad:
"Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs when their fingers aren't green?"

Dad replies:
"It's just a saying son. It's like when somebody is caught stealing something they say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are actually black."

Why did the burglar wear Blue gloves?

He didn't want to get caught Red handed!

An English woman finds out her husband is cheating on her

She is distraught, fueled by anger - so much so that she decides the only course of action is to have him killed. In her grief, she contacts and old friend who works amongst the criminal underbelly of London. He recommends she seek out a specific hitman, known in the business as Big Artie. He is eff...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I used to have a secret fetish for used tampons, but it's not so secret anymore.

I was caught red handed.

Did you hear about the guy who broke into a paint factory?

he was caught red handed

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