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Beautiful Music Jokes

Was walking down the street and heard this beautiful music coming from up on a hill.

So I went up there and found out it was a place for the mentally challenged. The music was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. So I looked in a window and saw all the patients holding pencils and tapping them on apples. I couldn’t believe the music was coming from them. How could they do it? S...

A man hears beautiful music coming from a bar and walks in.

He sees a very very short man playing the piano. He walks to the bar and orders a drink. After listening for a while he asks the bartender "where did you get this piano player?" The bartender says "from a genie." The man laughs and has a few more drinks. He jokingly asks the bartender "so where'd yo...

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A man walks into a bar and hears the most beautiful music in the world (NSFW)

A business man walks into a bar. As he is sat down drinking his beer he notices a man playing the piano. After a few minutes he goes over .
“That tune was beautiful. I’ve never heard it before. What is it called?”
“You like to take it up the arse you filthy bitch” replied the pianist
I beg ...

A sad story of duty, conviction and love

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applican...

The Bell Ringer

A bishop advertises a job to ring the bell in his tower. The only job applicant is a hunchback with no arms. Bishop: "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower, where the bell is." .. So they climb all those stairs to the ...

Nun on the scale

A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down, waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and...

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Old Russian Joke

A father is waiting for his kid to be born in the hospital. He's super nervous, pacing back and forth, cigars in his breast pocket ready to go. After what seems like a several days, a doctor finally walks into the waiting room and asks who's waiting for the baby. The father runs up to the doctor....

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender he's short on cash. He proposes that he plays the piano in exchange for some drinks.

The bartender agrees and the guy walks over to the piano and starts playing. The bartender and patrons are amazed at the beautiful sounds that are produced from this old piano. He plays several songs in a row. After about 20 minutes he walks up to the bartender and asks if that was worthy of a drink...

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A man walks into a luxury bar and asks for a Tequilla Sunrise....

He then pulls out a piano and 12" piano player. Piano player plays most beautiful music you have ever heard. Bartender falls in love with the music.

The guy then pulls out a lamp. Bartender asks, "What's in the lamp?" Guy says, "Genie! What else?" Bartender does not believe the guy. Guy summ...

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work...

He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks the man if he'd like a little live music. The man says "sure". The bartender snaps his fingers, and out of a little door at the end of the bar comes a little man in a tuxedo who only stands about a foot high. The little man walks ove...

A pianist setup in a Subway terminal...

was playing beautiful music but suddenly stopped when this weird looking kid with a dunce cap leaves.

I didn't think much of it but the next day I was in the same area and the same thing happened: beautiful music until weird looking kid with dunce cap leaves.

I approached the accomplis...

A church puts up an ad for a new bell ringer.

A church puts up an ad for a new bell ringer. Lo and behold, who should come to the door but a well-meaning townsman. He looks responsible and courteous, but there's one problem - he doesn't have arms. The priest says, "My son, it's great that you want to be a bell ringer, but you don't have any arm...

Farm Animal Band

So there is a farmer who owns many livestock, and also a singing horse. Little does he know, there are more musical talents on his farm. One day, the horse walks past one of the cows, singing, and the cow interrupts him and says; "hey horse, you know I can play the drums!" The horse looks at him que...

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The hooker who whistles while sucking [NSFW]

So this guy heard from his friends about a hooker who whistles while sucking. Intrigued, he decided to hire her services.

As to her request, he first talked to her on the phone. He asked: "is it true that you suck and whistle at the same time?".
"It's true alright", replies the hooker. "B...

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A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar with a small cardboard box, he asks the bartender: "Do you have a piano in here?"
The bartender points him to an old piano by the wall.
The guy sets the box down, and a little man gets out and starts playing the most beautiful music the bartender had ever listened to. <...

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The lobby pianist at the Waldorf Astoria gets fired...

...so the manager hold auditions for a new pianist. After hearing some mediocre players, a man walks into the room, sits down at the piano, and proceeds to play the most amazing music the manager has ever heard. When the pianist finishes, the manager begins clapping emphatically. "Bravo!" he says...

The Piano Man

A man walks into a bar, he sees a very small man, no more than one foot high, sitting at the piano and playing some of the most beautiful music he had ever heard. Quite impressed, and more than a little curious, the man walks up to the bar tender and asks where this strange man came from.
"Oh, th...

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Desert Island Deppression

A man gets stranded on a desert island and after a few days begins to starve. He climbs a tree desperately in search of food when he comes across a spirit at the top. The spirit agrees to grant him three wishes.

His first wish is for unlimited food & drink. The spirit grants it and he is ...

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