UPJOKE
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Smooth Jazz Jokes

I love smooth jazz...

but only if it's played in one ear with breaks every 30 seconds telling me how important of a customer I am.

Why do farmers play smooth jazz for their corn?

It's easy on the ears

Smooth jazz always puts me to sleep...

...must be the mellow tonin'.

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere...

I've heard Mars has no atmosphere, can we create an atmosphere by dimming the lights and playing smooth jazz?

People say that massages can calm down pets, so I gave my dog a massage

He didn’t seem all that into it, not sure if it was the candles or the smooth jazz.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bandleader for a traveling music troupe decides to hold auditions one day

and encounters a man who claims that he's found a perfect new member for his troupe. To the bandleader's surprise, the man pulls an octopus from his bag, and explains that the octopus is a musical genius who can flawlessly play any instrument. Hoping to test the octopus, the bandleader hands it a gu...

A short guide to extreme BDSM

Some couples like what they have. Others want to experiment. This is a quick and simple (and dirty) tutorial for some extreme [BDSM](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM) play in a young couple's bedroom.

As far as special equipment goes... well, it'll become obvious as you read.

Step ze...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was the 50th wedding anniversary between Mary and Gary.

Because of this special occasion, Mary thought that she will prepare nice dinner for her beloved one. She made his favourite soup and second course that they were eating on their first date. Evening comes, candles are burning and smooth jazz is playing in the background. They are looking into each o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife visit Las Vegas for their 15th anniversary. Being the spontaneous couple they always have been the husband decides that their first night he will do all the planning.

They go out a fancy steak dinner and he pays extra to have the band sing their wedding song tableside and serenade his wife. She melts.

He then takes her to a magic show and pays extra to have her involved in the main act as the woman who disappears within the act. She is beaming with joy....

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