Auto Correct Jokes

A man received the following text from his neighbor:

block quote
"I am so sorry Bob. I'm riddled with guilt and I have to confess.”

I have been tapping your wife for many weeks now.

I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse.

I hope yo... read more

They fried me for no reason

His fun fair is next monkey

John: I didn't even know I was I'll

Text to Neighbor:



Hi Fred, this Richard next door. I've got a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you face to face. at least I'm telling you in this text and I can't live with myself a minute longer ... read more

I got the number of a local artist from one of her works, so I texted her this by accident...



"I want to buy your panties, Leslie."



How embarrassing! Her name is Leela.

should burn in hello.

Always making me say things I didn't Nintendo

Otherwise I’d be ducking up everything.

My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'

Restaurant in piece

It's become my worst enema.

ALL LOPE IS HOST!

Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.

Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.

Because the Bill Gates microchip comes with auto correct

The teacher started yelling fencing terms I didn't understand.

"Lunge!"

"Parry!"

"Reposte"

I stopped and said, "I can't do that, this is my first post in r/jokes and I don't wanna get flamed."

(Ain't much, but at least I tried)

Abort*
Sorry, I hate auto correct.

A man received message from his neighbour.

Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.
<... read more

Is a once in a lifetime opportunity.


I heard this on a spotify ad and it cracked me up. I thought I'd share it.:)