Why did Anakin Skywalker fail as a lawyer?

His arguments didn't have a leg to stand on.

What did Anakin Skywalker get after being boned by the Emperor?

Siithylis.

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Why didn't Anakin get a discount ?

Because he didn't have his master card

So if “Ani” is short for Anakin, and “Ben” is short for Obi-Wan... and “Fives” is short for CT-27-5555... and “Artoo” is short for R2D2... and “Chewie” is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper

Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?

Emperor Palpatine

Did you know Anakin Skywalker was Jewish?

You can tell because he cut up his force kin.

Why was Anakin's master weak?

He was Only One Kenobi.

What does the US’s Native American policy have in common with Anakin Skywalker?

They like slaughter not just the men, but the women and the children too

My son Anakin loves that I named all of our children after Star Wars characters

My daughter Chewbacca, however, is less thrilled.

What is Anakin Skywalker's favorite baseball team?

The Padres!

It was the height of the Clone Wars, and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin had just finished a heated battle against separatist spacecraft.

After making sure that the civilian freighter they were escorting was undamaged, they prepared to hyperspace jump back to Coruscant. However, just as their craft are about to enter lightspeed, a mysterious pulse of energy fries their systems and instead jumps them to a planet they’ve never seen befo...

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Anakin, obiwan and yoda are sitting round a table playing poker

They’ve played a number of rounds until Anakin has built up quite a big pile of chips

Suddenly his face lights up as he sees he’s got a nearly unbeatable hand.

Feeling lucky he force pushes all of his chips to the centre of the table

Obi wan: don’t try it

Anakin: I’m goin...

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker pay for dinner?

Because his master card got denied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized the fight between obi wan and Anakin perfectly sums up the past year of fighting between Millenials and Boomers, respectively.

When Jedi business becomes too real.

---------------

Millenials: You have allowed this giant turd to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Boomer : Don't lecture me, child, I see through the lies of the libtards I do not fear t...

Why didn’t Obi Wan share any Budweisers with Anakin?

Because Anakin didn’t spare any Yuenglings

What did obi-wan Konobe say to Anakin on a weed farm?

It's over Anakin, I have the high ground.

Whats the worst insult you can call Anakin Skywalker?

"Beach"

What were Anakin and Padme watching on their wedding night?

The rise of Skywalker.

The final lightsaber duel between Anakin and Count Dooku was the best. duel. evar!

Hands down.

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How does Anakin like his sex?

Course, rough and getting everywhere

What did Yoda say to Anakin on his wedding day?

May divorce be with you.

If Anakin Skywalker was from a country on Earth, where would he come from?

El Salvader

Why did Anakin Skywalker fail survival school?

Because when he was truly lost, he did not seek the higher ground

Last night I partied like Anakin Skywalker.

I killed a dozen Yuengling.

How does Anakin Skywalker check his mail?

He uses a C3 PO Box

What did Anakin order from the Italian bakery?

Only one cannoli.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side?

(shrugs)

"Well, Sith happens"

Why did Anakin Skywalker hate bed time?

Because that's when the sandman came.

And not just the sand man but the sand woman and and children too

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What did Anakin say to Padme right before they had sex?

Let's see those Naboobies.

What's Anakin's least favorite footwear?

Sandals

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite beer?

Yeungling. He can kill off a 12-pack by himself.

What does Anakin do when Luke doesn't eat his vegetables?

He force-feeds him

Two things that never get old:

1. Jokes about Anakin killing the younglings
2. The younglings

What does Obi-Wan think about Padme and Anakin's relationship?

Di-vorce is strong with these two

If Anakin lost a limb in II and Luke lost a limb in V, then in VIII

Rey WILL NOT lose a limb, because she already lost a Han.

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What did Anakin see when he walked in on his master unannounced?

Obi wankin' Obi

Let me tell you the story of obi wan, the suspected cannibal.

Anakin was sitting at the dining table waiting for obi wan to finish chopping up the meat for dinner. Obi wan: You know Anakin, dinner is gonna cost you. Anakin: How much do I pay to eat? Obi wan: 2 legs and an arm!

Obi-Wan cuts off so many limbs

he cuts off Darth Maul's legs

he cuts off Savage Opress' arm

he cuts off Grivous' hands

he cuts off many of Anakin's limbs

and so many random people in bars have lost their limbs to Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan is a menace.

Considering that he is now dead and exis...

Yodas Logic

Anakin: Are we going the right way?

Yoda: Offcourse we are.

Two friends are going to film their own version of Revenge of the Sith.

They both have a really strong bond, so they decide that it'd be best if one played Anakin and one played Obi-Wan, the only problem was that they couldn't figure out who would play whom.

After a long bout of reasoning, bickering, and contemplating neither of them could come up with a reason w...

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roses are red, balls are round.

It's over, Anakin!
I have the high ground!

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