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5x Jokes

Say this hockey team name 5x FAST: Black Hawks

Bbc

If humans can carry 1.5x their weight,

Does that mean you mamma can carry LeBron to the finals?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm really loving my new Note 20 Ultra, now with up to 5x optical zoom!

I can finally take a dick pic

Tom Brady retired, but he does so as the GOAT, with 7 Super Bowls, but more importantly, he’s 5x better than Nickelback.

…he’s a quarterback

Math Question

A couple is on a date and they're asking each other math questions.

Male: What's 5x plus 5x?

Female: 10x.

Male: What's 5q plus 5q?

Female: 10q.

Male: You're welcome.

The sermon on the mount

Jesus: "Verily, I tell you: x²+5x+10."

Mark: "Huh? What's the boss talking about?"

John: "Never mind, he's just mixing up parable and parabola again."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy meets a sex worker in a nightclub

She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely, totally anything you want for £100 as long as you can say it in three words.’

The guy thinks for a minute & replies, ‘Hey, why not?’

He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays 5x £20 on ...

Spaghetti.

A man has an affaire with an italian woman, and gets her pregnant by accident.


Because the man didn't want to hurt his reputation or his marriage he made a deal with the woman. He would financially take care of the kid from birth to the baby's 18th birthday if she would move to Italy and ...

Husband - My wife is missing. She went out yesterday and has not come home...

*Police Sergeant*:
What is her height?

*Husband*:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of eyes?

*Husband*:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

*Sergeant*:
Colour of hair?

*Husband*:
Changes a couple times a ...

The Waiter and the Tip

A Waiter greeting a young couple at a table, recognizes that the man he is serving is Bill Gate's son, Rory Gates! Excited at the prospect of a generous tip, the waiter tried his best to please Mr.Gates and his date. Sure enough, when the couple was done with their dinner, they had left a tip of $10...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A difficult decision

A man had been dating three women on and off for a while. He didn't know whom to ask to marry, so he gave each woman $1000 to do with as they would.

The first woman spent it on plastic surgery and make up, and she returned to the man saying "I want to always be beautiful for you, my dear."...

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