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401k Jokes

I signed up for my company’s 401k

but I don’t think I can run that far.

-Norm Macdonald

My boss wants me to sign up for the company 401k this Friday…

…anyone have any tips for ramping up my distance running in 72 hours?

I never had a 401k...

But I used to have a 404k, but I can't find it anywhere.

My boss told me i need to set up the company's 401k

But I don't think I can run that far..

guys, someone from HR asked me to sign up for the company 401k and i'm really nervous

i don't think i can run that far

Today I signed up for my company's 401K

I'm super nervous though. I've never run that far before in my life.

My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k.

I told him, "No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"

My company has a 401k program.

I was gunna join, but I figured there's no way I can run that far.

I decided I was done drinking for good....

So until they get a decent 401K plan and insurance, I'm drinking for evil....

We've all heard of "dogs with jobs." But where do they keep their investments?

A 401K-9

When do Youtubers know it’s time to retire?

When they get 401k likes

COVID-19 doesnt seem to retire....

COVID-19 is not going to retire from US any time soon even though cases have reached 401K ...

The people at my new job must be pretty fit...

They asked me if I wanted to sign up for their 401k, i can barely even run a 5k.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy living in Kansas hears a voice in his head one day...

And this god like voice in his head says "LEAVE YOUR FAMILY, SELL EVERYTHING YOU OWN AND GO TO RENO, NEVADA"

The guy ignores it at first, and for as long as he can, but it just won't stop "SELL EVERYTHING, TAKE EVERY PENNY YOU HAVE, GO TO RENO"

So finally he can't take it anymore and h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New Job!!

A young guy living in Boston recently became unemployed and he immediately went to the nearest job center where he noticed a flyer pinned to the job board seeking a "Gynecologist's Assistant to work at a newly-built 'Soothing Approach Gynecology Center', no experience required".
He was very inter...

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