UPJOKE
roman numeralscommon eraanno dominit3t4c7t1t2tl3rd millennium2020s021st centurycamelidaeunited nations

2024 Jokes

The year is 2024

The year is 2024 and it’s time to decide a new President of the United States. There are three candidates for the American people to choose from: Joe Biden, looking to hold onto the Presidency, Donald Trump, looking to regain it, and Obama in a sombrero and fake moustache calling himself “Juanbama”....

The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman president, who happens to be from Wisconsin. A few days after the election, the president-elect, whose name is Susan, calls her father and says, “So, dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?”

“I don't think so, Susie. It's an 18-hour drive.”

“Don't worry about it, dad! I will send Air Force One, and a limousine to pick you up at your door.”

“I don't know, Susie. Everybody will be so fancy. What would your mother wear?”

“Oh, dad,” replies Susan, “I'll make sure she ha...

Biden runs for re-election in 2024.

He promises it will be a great first term.

My best friend got mad at me because he caught me sniffing his sister's panties

It didn't help that she was still wearing them.

Or that his whole family was there.

That made the rest of his sister's funeral kind of awkward.

And who thought you could make the funeral for such a small child more awkward than it already was..

Trump and Biden tied in a hypothetical 2024 matchup: poll

5% for Biden, 5% for Trump, and 90% said, "God no!".

Apple is set to release their new electric smart car in 2024...

It will be the first apple product with windows.

Unlike past US Elections, the 2024 election is shaping up to be a feisty contest between the GOP and Dems.

The Geriatric Old People's Party and the Dementia Party.

I just went on a date with a dentist receptionist, it went quite well

We've arranged a second date for August 24th 2024 at 7:15pm.

Aren't you excited that Breakdancing will be part of the 2024 Paris Olympic games?

I'm head over heels!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does my APR credit card have in common with my wife giving me a blowjob?

No interest until 2024

"What will life in Russia be like in 2023?"

"It will be worse than 2022 but better than 2024"

Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they’re working on a self driving boat as well.

They’re going to call it the iAye

Tell a horror story with just one word and one number

Trump 2024

call me crazy, but i think it is possible for a Democratic president who spent his first term setting records for high inflation, gas prices and low approval ratings to win a second term in office

Jimmy Carter 2024

All conspiracy theories were proved wrong. Trump will manage to stay in power by...

... dragging the vote count until 2024!

I just read some great political news today!...

...Arizona, Georgia and North Carolina have all projected that they will probably have the 2020 ballots counted in time for the 2024 presidential election.

A Trump supporter was upset...

...about having ordered custom "Trump 2020-2024" merchandise from China and now not being able to get a refund. "I just can't accept that I have to kiss my 10 yuan goodbye." I nodded sympathetically but advised him that he'll just have to accept bye ten yuan.

Exams be like....

Choose the correct answer.

“Two Zero Two Four”

A: 2024
B: 0044
C: 0024
D: 2044

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.