UPJOKE
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The 2016 US Presidential Election

That's it. That's the entire fucking joke.

In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people.

In 2017, celebrities touched people and their legacies died.

It's the end of the 2016 Presidential race

The people of the US hated all the candidates so much that no one voted. The government is in a panic, trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be.
Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea:
A literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap aroun...

Euro 2016

Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.

If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...

... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.

Vote Trump 2016

We havent had a presidential assassination in a long time.






Note: Its a joke guys, on /r/jokes. Dont take it seriously :)

I can sum up 2016 in four words

Two thousand and sixteen

What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common?

Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying.



^^sorry ^^not ^^sorry

I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds

Only 30 more to go and I'm there!

Funny one liners - 2016

Tell me short funny one liners. Just humor, nothing else.

2016 Presidential Election

Me: I don't like Trump.

Everyone: So you support a liar like Hillary? She should be in jail!

Me: I don't like Hillary.

Everyone: So you support a racist like Trump?! He doesn't stand for American values!

Me: I don't like either.

Everyone: So you're going to waste y...

A vegan, a bitcoin trader and someone who didn’t vote in 2016 all walk into a bar.

Who tells you about it first?

I have a degree in men's studies.

It's called "world history".

#TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!

2016 Denial

2017 Anger

2018 Bargaining

2019 Depression

2020 Acceptance

2016

That's it.

A vegan bitcoin investor who does CrossFit and didn't vote in the 2016 election walks into a bar.

Now everyone's wondering what he's gonna bring up first.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Biggest Joke of 2016

Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve

I work in a library and a black guy asked me if there are any coloured printers...

I said, "Dude, it's 2016 you can use any printer you want."

Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year?

That was hilarious, wasn't it.

The year is 2016. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are both travelling in the same plane. Plane comes crashing down. Who survives?

America.

Why didn’t Joe run for president in 2016?

He was Biden his time.

2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died.

His family are taking it really hard.

Is it really 2016?

Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States.

"Describe 2016 in 4 words"

"That's a tomorrow problem"

2016

where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

2016:

The year Brock Turner got sentenced to 3 months but America got 4 years.

I can sum up 2016 in one word...

Nine.

Why did Donald Trump win 2016 election?

Because "Deez Nuts" isn't a valid candidate.

2016–didn’t jog, 2017-didn’t jog, 2018-didn’t jog, 2019-didn’t jog, 2020 didn’t jog.

This is a running joke.

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The 2016 Election

The election was in such shambles that none of the US citizens were voting, there was a nation wide boycott of the election.

Since no one was voting there had to be a way to decide who the next president was going to be. It was agreed that a foot race around The Whitehouse would determine the...

2016 Election

Honestly hurricane Matthew should run for president because I think he left the biggest mark on the country

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a grammar Nazi in 2016?

An alt-writer.

Another casualty of 2016...

Ronda Rousey's MMA career

Trump/Pence 2016!

Or "TP" as I like to call it. ;)

2016 New Year Scratchcard

2015 is going to end soon! As an appreciation of your support to [/r/Jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/), every subscriber here can get one of the reward below:

* Grand Prize: iPhone 6s Plus 128G
* Second Prize: Samsung Galaxy Note 5
* Third Prize: Nintendo 3DS
* Consolation Priz...

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Do you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?

I read it in one book on page 37, on the 8th line, it was 16:23, Monday, January 4, 2016.

Why did the guy who voted for Trump in 2016 switch sides this time?

Because hindsight is 2020

2016 has done the impossible

It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.

"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyan...

2016: Surely Donald Trump won't win

2017: He can't do that... right?

2018: I hope my district wins the Hunger Games!

why did the 2016 presidential election suck?

It was a real Hack job.

Looking back 2016 was a very eventful year.

But I guarantee 2017 will trump it.

It's the 2016 Olympics

And Chris Brown is still the most famous female boxer

2016 ends with Mariah Carey dying

On the stage.

The 2016 Presidential Election ended in a tie

So then president Obama decided the tie breaker would a race around the White House, with the fastest time being awarded the presidency. Bernie Sanders being the honest man he is went first, but is older and well past his physical prime, completed the race on 17 minutes 46 seconds. Trump being the n...

Putin: "Russia did not meddle in 2016."

International Olympic Committee: "You certainly won't in 2018."

A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates...

The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"

Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016

Sure showed them

If you would have told me on Nov. 10 2016 that the Trump presidency would end with the economy failing and the country dying..

I would have totally believed you.

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic?

None of the North Korean athletes defected.

When you think 2016 is almost over

WHAM! It hits you.

Whats the biggest lie of 2016?

I am a passenger.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The results from the 2016 Presidential Election are in...

Turns out no one in the fucking country voted, so President Obama took it upon himself to come up with a way to decide the next President. He told Bernie, Trump and Hillary that they would have an actual race. One lap around the White House and the fastest time would be the next Commander In Chief.<...

Donald Trump and the 2016 Presidential Election

I would make a political joke about it but then it would get elected.

Major takeaway of the USA 2016 presidential elections...

...Mexicans

I voted for Giant Meteor for 2016

Guess I'll just hope for another.

Wanna know the 2016 elections favorite card game?

Poker.

It always gets the Trump card.

2016 ends with Maria Carey performance bomb...

Thanks ABC for ending the year with more proof that stars do fade....and still milk it.

2016 is on such a high kill streak

I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes

What's the best way to wrap up 2016?

Debbie Reynolds Wrap.

2016 started with the death of a gorilla

...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla

In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!

Just when you thought 2016 was done killing celebrities...

Wham! There goes another one!

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