This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?

I read it in one book on page 37, on the 8th line, it was 16:23, Monday, January 4, 2016.

2016–didn’t jog, 2017-didn’t jog, 2018-didn’t jog, 2019-didn’t jog, 2020 didn’t jog.

This is a running joke.

If you would have told me on Nov. 10 2016 that the Trump presidency would end with the economy failing and the country dying..

I would have totally believed you.

2013: Didn’t jog - 2014: Didn’t jog - 2015: Didn’t jog - 2016: Didn’t jog - 2017: Didn’t jog - 2018: Didn’t jog - 2019: Didn’t jog - 2020: Still haven’t jogged

This is a running joke.

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The 2016 US Presidential Election

That's it. That's the entire fucking joke.

In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people.

In 2017, celebrities touched people and their legacies died.

Say what you will about Trump, but in the end, he kept the promise he made in 2016 about restoring respect for America in the international community.

All he had to do was lose in 2020.

Why didn’t Joe run for president in 2016?

He was Biden his time.

Why did the guy who voted for Trump in 2016 switch sides this time?

Because hindsight is 2020

Remember when we thought 2016 was a terrible year?

That was hilarious, wasn't it.

It's the end of the 2016 Presidential race

The people of the US hated all the candidates so much that no one voted. The government is in a panic, trying to figure out what to do to decide who the next president will be.
Finally, Barack Obama comes up with an idea:
A literal presidential race. The three candidates would run a lap aroun...

The year is 2016. Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are both travelling in the same plane. Plane comes crashing down. Who survives?

America.

A vegan, a bitcoin trader and someone who didn’t vote in 2016 all walk into a bar.

Who tells you about it first?

Everyone thought that Obama's Vice President was done with politics after 2016, but now he's considering running for president in 2020.

I guess he was just Biden his time.

I can sum up 2016 in four words

Two thousand and sixteen

Euro 2016

Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.

If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...

... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.

I started 2016 with a goal to lose 20 pounds

Only 30 more to go and I'm there!

What do the 2016 Rio Olympics and the 2016 US presidential race have in common?

Half of the competitors cheat and the other half aren't qualified.

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying.



^^sorry ^^not ^^sorry

Funny one liners - 2016

Tell me short funny one liners. Just humor, nothing else.

Did you know that a very good memory is often a sign of an excellent lover?

I read that on February 11, 2017 in the New England Journal of Behavioral studies issue 2016-Q3.

Vote Trump 2016

We havent had a presidential assassination in a long time.






Note: Its a joke guys, on /r/jokes. Dont take it seriously :)

2016 Presidential Election

Me: I don't like Trump.

Everyone: So you support a liar like Hillary? She should be in jail!

Me: I don't like Hillary.

Everyone: So you support a racist like Trump?! He doesn't stand for American values!

Me: I don't like either.

Everyone: So you're going to waste y...

2016 strikes again. The inventor of the inappropriate innuendo has died.

His family are taking it really hard.

Why did Donald Trump win 2016 election?

Because "Deez Nuts" isn't a valid candidate.

My New Years Resolution is to get a girlfriend

After what happened in 2020, i didn't get the chance to, but 2021 will be the year.

~~After what happened in 2019, i didn't get the chance to, but 2020 will be the year.~~

~~After what happened in 2018, i didn't get the chance to, but 2019 will be the year.~~

~~After what happe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Biggest Joke of 2016

Mariah Carey's Performance at Dick Clarks Rockin New Years Eve

2016 is going off the rails with all the people getting offended. There are even some people who've decided it's racist to say "black paint".

Instead you're supposed to say something like "Shawn, would you please paint that fence?"

I can sum up 2016 in one word...

Nine.

If Steve Jobs was still alive and a presidential candidate, he would have won the 2016 Election...

But let's not compare Apples to Oranges.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a grammar Nazi in 2016?

An alt-writer.

When people ask why I have a "Trump 2016" sticker on my car I say it's for safety.

When i'm pulled over, it's the quickest way to tell the Cop i'm white.

2016

That's it.

People are wondering who will win the 2016 Presidential election, but I already know who will win the next election.

That's because I've got 2020 vision.

Is it really 2016?

Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States.

A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates...

The pessimist says "It can't get any worse" and the optimist says "Oh yes it can!"

Everyone thought the UK made the stupidest decision of 2016

Sure showed them

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blonde walks into a bank

A blonde walks into a bank in New York city, and talks to the bank's loan officer, asking for a loan.

Loan officer: "How much do you need to take a loan out for?"

Blonde: "Only $1000."

Loan officer: "Do you have collateral?"

The blonde pulls out the keys to a 2016 Ferrar...

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

As USA gets closer to the 2016 election year, US citizens must remember that they cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs.

The last time Hilary had a meaningful job, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky...

And Monica blew it.

In order to finish my 2016 resolution, i cut off my left leg...

That way, I'll reach my goal of losing 20 pounds AND start 2017 off on the right foot!

If the 2008 election was about Hope and Change, what is 2016?

Fear and Loathing.

Now I'm just going to wait till the end of 2016 and hope Obama says:

"Chill out guys, all of this was just a prank. I'm going for the 3rd term".

Looking back 2016 was a very eventful year.

But I guarantee 2017 will trump it.

A husband calls the Sheriff's office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The results from the 2016 Presidential Election are in...

Turns out no one in the fucking country voted, so President Obama took it upon himself to come up with a way to decide the next President. He told Bernie, Trump and Hillary that they would have an actual race. One lap around the White House and the fastest time would be the next Commander In Chief.<...

why did the 2016 presidential election suck?

It was a real Hack job.

The 2016 Presidential Election ended in a tie

So then president Obama decided the tie breaker would a race around the White House, with the fastest time being awarded the presidency. Bernie Sanders being the honest man he is went first, but is older and well past his physical prime, completed the race on 17 minutes 46 seconds. Trump being the n...

In 2016, Obama left Trump and Hillary as the 2 choices for president.

Thanks, Obama.

21 Pilots

In 2016 during their tour,
21 Pilots performed in Brighton, Australia.
.
For that particular show,
For the entire show they sang their yet to be released songs.


Audience were enjoying at the beginning, by 1 hour mark they were demanding their hits to be performed.


...

If you thought 2016 was a bad year, then you're about to find out why 6 was afraid of 7.

If you thought 2016 was a bad year, then you're about to find out why 6 was afraid of 7.

When my blonde girlfriend heard the Russians meddled in 2016, she turned to me and said...

"Well I hope they got the bronze."

Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016,

Wham! there's one more.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having sex on regular basis keeps your memory strong and healthy.

Happy New Year 2016 everyone.

2016: Surely Donald Trump won't win

2017: He can't do that... right?

2018: I hope my district wins the Hunger Games!

2016's been bad!

But today is definitely the darkest!

Putin: "Russia did not meddle in 2016."

International Olympic Committee: "You certainly won't in 2018."

On 2016 the US had so many disasters and tragedies...

You'd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

2016 has done the impossible

It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.

"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyan...

Just when you thought 2016 was done killing celebrities...

Wham! There goes another one!

2016 New Year Scratchcard

2015 is going to end soon! As an appreciation of your support to [/r/Jokes](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/), every subscriber here can get one of the reward below:

* Grand Prize: iPhone 6s Plus 128G
* Second Prize: Samsung Galaxy Note 5
* Third Prize: Nintendo 3DS
* Consolation Priz...

2016 ends with Mariah Carey dying

On the stage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 2016 Election

The election was in such shambles that none of the US citizens were voting, there was a nation wide boycott of the election.

Since no one was voting there had to be a way to decide who the next president was going to be. It was agreed that a foot race around The Whitehouse would determine the...

What TV show can you compare to the 2016 US presidential elections?

Orange is the new black.

Major takeaway of the USA 2016 presidential elections...

...Mexicans

Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016?

Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave.

What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?

Microphones!

2016

where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

2016 was so divisive.

It just had too many factors.

I have a degree in men's studies.

It's called "world history".

#TRUMP 2016! YOU CAN'T STUMP THE TRUMP!

2016 started with the death of a gorilla

...and is ending with the death of a Guerilla

As of 2016, 85% of Fords are still on the road.

The other 15% made it home.

How bad was the Rio 2016 Olympic?

None of the North Korean athletes defected.

Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016

Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision

2016:

The year Brock Turner got sentenced to 3 months but America got 4 years.

Wanna know the 2016 elections favorite card game?

Poker.

It always gets the Trump card.

2016 is on such a high kill streak

I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes

As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse...

You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen.

I received my tax return for 2016 back from the IRS

They are questioning how many dependents I claimed.

I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"
I replied: 12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million people on food stamps, 2 million people in over 243 prisons; Half of Mexico; and 53...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Trump wins in 2020 and has a terrible term as President - don't blame him.

It's likely because he inherited a shit show dumpster fire from the previous 2016 presidency.

2016 Election

Honestly hurricane Matthew should run for president because I think he left the biggest mark on the country

What's the best way to wrap up 2016?

Debbie Reynolds Wrap.

I just won the 2016 friendzone award.

I'd like to dedicate this achievement to my imaginary girlfriend, my waifu, and that cute girl in high school whom I still obsess about.

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