Zen Master Jokes

Buddhapest

Walks up to a hotdog stand and says,

"Make me one with everything."

-That's the best I've got

A house, because they like to live in the present.

Two, one to change it, and one not to change it.

**One**

Engineer: My heart is filled with depression

Zen master: Young man, your depression is trivial like a single line on a paper, there are still a lot of space you can fill the paper with.

The engineer drew a Peano curve.

**Two**

Engineer: Master, they say I a... read more

The master answered: "Yes. But no attachments."

When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside.

"Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!"

A Buddha Pest.

So I didn't

While wandering the gardens near the back of the temple, the tourist encounters two Zen masters standing near a closed door. They appear to be having a rather serene sort of debate, so the tourist stops to listen.

"As one's burden increases," says the first Zen master, "so too does their need... read more

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Where's my change?" ask... read more