Why Did Jokes

Me: "I dunno"

"To get to the idiots house"
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"Knock knock"

Me: "Who's there?"

"It's the chicken...."



She's 8...

To get to the other slide

Because he ate too many cowleries.

Because there was gold up in them/their hills.

Because he needed 3² meals a day.

His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.

Because they had to go home and change first.

They were outnumbered.

United States: Because we "suspected" nuclear weapons.

Zelensky: So why not attack Russia now?

United States: Because we know that Russia has nuclear weapons.

To pick up his master's degree.

Because Mario came down the wrong pipe

They left it too close to the gaslight.

Hispanic Attacks

To render the buildings on the other side.

To make sure his friend was feeling... alt-right.

Feel free to downvote me to reddit hell...

In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.

My girlfriend said we had to have a serious talk. She had enough of me constantly singing “I want it that way” by the Backstreet Boys. She said if I didn’t stop singing that song, she was done with the relationship and would leave.

I said, “Tell me why?”

Pencils posed an issue; 2B or not 2B

Because his father grounded him.

She wanted to see the task manager.

I put on the wrong socks this morning.

For hispanic attacks

To get to the other side.

I don’t know if anyone else has had this experience, but I was today years old when I realized that this joke is actually a fairly clever double entendre. I always thought it was a dumb “of course” punchline and it never remotely occurred to me that it had to do wit... read more

Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

To destroy the lbs.

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

To show how it's done.

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.

For the watch

So the other one could drive.

Because that’s where the winner has the lowest score.

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids.

I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!' I felt so special. She asked me out for lu... read more

CrossFit

To take a photo in front of a church.

Once again, immigrants are doing the jobs no American want to do.

Because she grew out of b shells

So the remaining users could spell it.

cause he didnt wear his seatbelt

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

Because it had a bad driver!

*drops mic*

Because it was Chewie.

Because he took a leek!

(Please don’t kick us out, just lettuce leave)

He was in the middle of 9/11

So the chicken could cross the road

>!Because Australia won the coin toss!<

I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."

The pot was calling the cattle back

Because from a distance they look like hares

He was having issues with his death perception.

To kill his career.

Because he finally got it

Because they had lost the *huile d'olive*

One more would have made it two farty.

It didn't protect him from harmful rays

He was having a mid life crisis

To get to the other side.

Because Ken comes in another box.

He was waving a lot of red flags.

Because he couldn't find the Droid he was looking for.

Because he’s a dirty, double-crossing son of a b*tch.

*edit* And a such GOOD one, yes he IS!

To get to the other side.

Indecent exposure

It said 2-4 years on the box.

He kept finding different hares in his bed.

Because he never finished his sentences...

She was looking for love in Alderaan places.

So when they come back into port they can Scandinavian...

[censored]

It was a little chicken.

To neutralize the enemy base!

He heard they had Ivanka's clothes half off

She had her Bat Mitzvah.

None of your damn business. Am I being detained?

To stop his coffin.

He wanted to have a manta-man talk

(I'm so sorry)

Because they kept saying, "Bach, Bach, Bach"

To build up it's pecs.

(apologies in advance. I made this up).

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
-My 6 year old Nephew

She thought it was diet coke.

"Father," said Lily, "why did you name me Lily?" Lily's father smiled, "On the day you were born, a gentle breeze carried a lily through the window, and it gently fell onto your forehead, and so we named you Lily." Lily smiled at her father, and went back to playing.
On that same day, Lily's sist... read more

One could read, and was needed to read ID documents in case of an arrest.

One could write, and was needed to write down the names for punishment.

The third one was needed to keep an eye on these two dangerous intellectuals.

It was his sixty-second birthday

Too many frames.

She had a kink in her neck

Because he hated capitalism.

Because his Visa didn't work!

It had window pains.

A: Because it said 'concentrate'

Because he drank his tea before it was cool.

So she could moan with the other.

So he could hire what was on the bottom.

So no one would tell him how to make Adam.

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

Because he was a neck-romancer....

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

Joe Biden:... read more

Because both of them were born apart

Classical conditioning

Because it got to the point where the steaks were too high !

"The fear of flying?", I asked.

"No," said dad. "The fear of dying alone."

Abuse of staff

They could see the joint in his hand.

Because he saw the airstrip

There wasn't any nursery or hospital nearby to aim at.

He was outstanding in his field

Because he kneaded a poo.

Because of no collar ID

He was making up for lost thyme.

Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.

*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*

Too much drag

Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?

It was a good day to dye.

Because her algaebra didn't hold up.

Because the workers went on strike


I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke

He kept telling people “You only get one shot”

Because it was boring

He was a vegetarian.

Because she couldn't see that well.

It was being reporpoised.

Because everything is already 100% recycled.