The Isle Jokes - 17 Hilarious The Isle Jokes

A female flight attendant walks down the isle and offers a man some headphones.

“Would you like some headphones?” She asks.

The man smiles a large grin.

“Why certainly!” He says, “And how did you know my name was Phones?”

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A bible thumping granny gets on a cross town bus sitting across the isle from two Cajun’s talking quietly

So of course she starts to listen. The older of the two gentlemen was saying, “First, Emma came, den I , then us and us again, together! And then I again.”
The lady stands up and says “you should be ashamed of yourself for talking like that about anyone and things like that should not be...

A beautiful blonde woman approaches a pharmacist and asks, "Do you have extra large condoms?"

The pharmacist replies, "Yes, isle 11."

The blonde goes to the isle. But about 30 minutes later she is still looking at the condoms. The pharmacist calls over to her, "Do you need some help?"

The woman replies, "No, I'm just waiting for somebody to buy some."

Two Irishmen on a Trian

Two Irishmen are walking down the isle of a passenger train car, asking, "Is their a priest here? Has anyone seen a priest of this train? No one answers, and they go on to the next car.

A few minutes later, they come back, asking, "Is there a rabbi here? Has anyone seen a Rabbi on the trai...

My wife and I.

My soon to be wife and I are looking at wedding dresses for her.

I said to her I dont care what she wears down the isle. I said best case, you go down the isle wearing a track suit.

She says why... I want something that will look better than that.

I said it would be perfect be...

What's the opposite of a sausage fest?

The isle of Naarth

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A pilot is flying a jumbo jet, he comes on the intercom and says, this is your pilot, we’re flying at 30,000 feet, traveling at over 500 miles an hour and will be at our destination in about an hour, he hangs up the mic but doesn’t turn it off and says to the co-pilot,...

Ya’know, I think I’m going to smoke a cigarette and then see if I can get a little off that new stewardess! Well she hears this and comes running from the back of the plane to tell him that his mic is still on and trips over an old lady’s purse and falls into the isle! The old lady then says t...

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An old one from good will hunting. (Slightly )

I love this movie. If you haven’t seen it, go watch it on Netflix.

So Will tells this joke during therapy:

A pilot is flying a commercial Airline plane. He says his whole “we’ll be cruising at 30K feet” thing, but when he finishes, he forgets to turn the mic off.
He turns to the co...

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My Brother The Cripple.

My oldest brother was born with little use of his legs resulting in him using crutches. For his whole life we went through vigorous treatments and therapy. When he was about 14 we moved to a new town. The local kids made fun him daily calling him names and just being overall assholes. He was so fe...

The Devils goes to Church

The devil went to church one day and upon seeing his red skin, big horns and cloven feet, all of the people ran from the building in terror. All except for one old man near the front. He didn't even budge. The devil was intrigued by the man's apparent disinterest in his hideous appearance. So he str...

Whats brown and comes out of Cowes backwards?

The Isle of Wight ferry.

There was once a cornflake named randy.

Randy was a rambunctious cornflake. When he was being toasted, he was in the back of the assembly line. He tried and tried and tried to get to the front, but failed. Now remember Randy wasn’t an ordinary cornflake, he was a rambunctious cornflake. When he was being put into the box, he was at the b...

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Nearing the end of a long flight,

the pilot starts talking on the intercom announcing that the final approach coming up. Unknowingly, he then lays down the mic, mistakenly leaving it on. The pilot says to the co-pilot, "Man I could sure use a cup of coffee right about now." The co-pilot chuckles and says "Better yet, I could use a ...

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Stewardess

Two days ago I was on a plane from Edmonton to Vegas. And unlucky me got the middle seat. To my right is a man who has already passed out against the window and to my left beside the isle is a nice old lady. 20 minutes into our flight the captain keys open the mic to inform us we have reached our cr...

There was this homeless man named Arty

There was this homeless man named Arty, always down on his luck, would do anything for a dollar.

One day a rich man came up to Arty and said he needed his business partner killed and would pay Arty a dollar for the trouble. He informed Arty that this business partner always shopped at...

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3 guys on a plane

3 guys on a plane who had never met, found themselves sitting next to each other on row of seats on a flight to Pittsburgh. After they had all sat down and got a chance to look at each other, something was strangely coincidental ... they each had a black eye.

The guy sitting in the isle seat ...

An Olympic swimmer...

...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep h...

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