Room Service Jokes - 33 Hilarious Room Service Jokes

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Lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to her husband Johnny:

"I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

Johnny replies. "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues. "Yeah, I've been with one other guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
...

Daffy Duck was in a hotel room, he called room service and asks for a condom, receptionist says shall we put it on your bill?

Daffy replied.

Are you thucking thupid I'll thuffocate.

Loui Anderson got his own suite in heaven room service and anything

They even brought him meatloaf

A Politician Dies And Has To Spend Just ONE Day In Hell

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

"So, you're a politician..."

"Well, yes, is that a problem?"

"Oh no, no problem. But we've recently adopted a new system for p...

No service at hotel room

I called into the hotel reception for room service. After my 5th call went unanswered, I walked up to the hotel reception angrily asking why they weren't answering.

Reception : "Extremely sorry sir. What's your room number?"
Me : "Room number 503"
Reception : "Something went wrong. 503 ...

A Frenchman staying at a hotel in England calls room service and asks for some pepper...

"What kind of pepper would you like, sir? Black pepper, white pepper, red pepper?" asked the manager.

He replied, "Toilette pepper!"

In a hotel room in London, the room service boy knocks on the door,

And says "here are your Pringles sir" The Arab guest looks at the box of potato chips for a few minutes appearing confused. Finally he says, "Wallah Habibi, I said bring girls"

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I want to live my next life backwards

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old age home feeling and start feeling better every day.

Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch ...

A newlywed couple spent their first honeymoon night in an expensive Miami Beach hotel

Next morning the groom called room service and ordered a breakfast of bacon and eggs for himself, and a lettuce leaf for his wife. The clerk asked, “Would the lady care for anything else?” The husband replied “Not right now. I want to see if she eats like a rabbit, too”

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Tanjooberrymutts

By the time you read through this you wil understand 'TANJOOBERRYMUTTS'

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service in a hotel ...

Room Service : "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

Room Service: "...

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A joke about the different branches of the US military.

“What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”

A sailor says, “I’d step on it”

A soldier says “ I’d report it to my CO”

A marine says “I’d catch it, cut off it’s tail and eat it!”

An airman responds “I’d pick up the phone and call room service and ask why’s the...

Dracula checked into a hotel, called room service, and ordered an Italian.

A strange order, but room service sent up an Italian waiter. When he got to the room, Dracula jumped him, drank all his blood, and threw the body out the window. The body fell on a drunk on the sidewalk below who just sat there, staring at it, then resumed his drinking.

A little while lat...

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The branches of the military.

The four branches encounter a bug in the tent.

The army shoots the bug.

The marines eat the bug.

The navy drowns the bug.

The air force calls room service to ask why the fuck there's a tent in their room.

officer Training School

Members of the 4 British Armed Services are completing an exam for Officer Training.
QUESTION: You're on a survival course & upon returning to your tent, you discover a scorpion.
What do you do?

NAVY answers: I would gingerly pick it up & throw it out of the tent.
ARMY answ...

Why I Joined the Air Force

The DOD was conducting an all service briefing and the leader posed this question.
“What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?”
A sailor said, “I’d step on it.”
A soldier said, “I’d squash it with my boot.
A marine said, I’d catch it, break the stinger off, and eat it.”
A...

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia

A guy walks into a hotel in soviet Russia and asks for a room. The receptionist tells him that they only place left is in a shared room with four beds, the bathroom is on corridor and the other 3 beds are already occupied. He accepts it, goes to his room and tries to fall asleep but the other 3 gues...

Two ducks are having an affair.

hey rent a hotel room for an hour, but the male duck forgot contraception. He calls down to room service.

“Got it,” says the front desk, “and would you like these on your bill?”

“Of course not,” the duck says. “I’d suffocate.”

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A traveler checked in at a hotel that advertised widely as offering

everything a client might desire. The traveler at once called room service. "I want to have brought to my room," he said, "a young virgin
between the ages of 18 and 19, who must have blonde hair and blue eyes. I also want sent up 4 pieces of strong rope, each exactly 4 feet in
length, and a ...

The Brazilian president and his spouse are staying at a hotel in the USA, in the room 222

Close to 17:00 he calls the room service from the landline and says the following.

tu ti, tu tututu

The attendant has a hard time understating that request and considering that it is the president, not just some normal customer, comes to the conclusion that he must have overheard an en...

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Wedding prankster

A group of guys pledged that they would never get married, but one by one, they met the women of their dreams and tied the knot. Each time, however, the rest of the group pranked them at the wedding or reception such as not "holding their peace," or plastic poop in the punchbowl.

Time come...

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Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons

where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave ...

Tiger woods

I just got married and as I was laying in bed about to make love to my new wife she said to me,”honey I have to tell you I have made love before tonight.”
I said,”who was this with?”
She said,” with Tiger Woods.”
I said, “ohhhhkkkk then.” I can accept that.
Despite this profound news I ...

Q: You are in Spanish Inn and hear a knock on the door, who do you expect?

You: The Spanish Inquisition?

A: It’s Room Service. How could you get that wrong, no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

R/jokes

Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam," he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no,"...

A duck went on vacation and stayed in a nice hotel. [NSFW?]

A duck went on vacation. He flew in and got a room at a really fancy hotel. He had some time to kill, so he went down to a bar. While he was there, he met a beautiful woman. He started talking to her. Things were going really well, so he asked her if she wanted to head back to his hotel room. She sm...

A duck and a beautiful woman are sitting on a hotel room bed...

when the duck realises he has no condom not wanting to take any chances he calls room service. Room service arrives he asks "Do you want me to put this on your bill?" "No what do you think I am some kind of pervert?"

Two ducks go on their honeymoon...

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''

''No'' he...

Soviet joke

Three men have to share a hotel room in Chelyabinsk during a congress. Naturally, in the evening, they start drinking. One thing leads to another, and they find themselves telling political jokes. Concerns that any of the others may be KGB informants or that the room may be bugged are readily dissol...

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Love at first sight

A guy and woman were sitting in a bar, their eyes met from across the room and it was love at first sight. They stood up together and approached each other. After a few drinks the man said "I know this is crazy but lets get married". The woman responded with "It is crazy but i was thinking the exact...

An Arab sheikh in a hotel...

An Arab sheikh was once visiting London. He was staying at a grand hotel. He was by himself and didn't know English very well.

Just as he jumped on the bed, a mouse scurried out from under. He was confused at first, then terrified. He used the phone on the side stand to call room service. Th...

One afternoon a man was out playing golf...

He is about to hit a difficult lie next to a pond. suddenly he hear "ribbit, 4 iron". He is alone, so has no clue who is talking. again "ribbit, 4 iron" He looks around and sees a frog looking at him. "ribbit, 4 iron" He says "well I think you are wrong, but what the hell. and hits the 4 iron...

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A visit to the pope

A man walks into the barber's and says "I don't mind what you do so long as it looks smart, I'm going to see the pope".

"Oh not the pope! He's done nothing for the faith. I went to see him a while ago and he never even appeared. They said he wasn't feeling well. Pathetic if you ask me, lett...

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So there's this guy, let's call him Paul Yankee.

So Paul Yankee had been dating this girl Wendy Norris for a few years, so he finally proposed and she said yes.

Fast forward to the wedding and they are the happiest people to ever exist. Mr Paul Yankee and Mrs Wendy Yankee decided to go to Jamaica for their honeymoon. As a surprise for his ...

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