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Ramsay Jokes

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Why does Gordon Ramsay hate seeing a bunch of cute pet pictures?

Cause it's fucking r/aww!

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Gordon Ramsay walks into a bar...

... and asks for a glass of water with ice. Once his drink is served, he looks at the bartender and asks: "What did you use to make the ice cubes?"

Bartender: "Water."

Ramsay: "Fresh?"

Bartender: "No, frozen."

Ramsay: "Oh for fuck's sake."

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What did Gordon Ramsay say when he caught a clown in bed with the Egyptian Sun God?

IT's fucking Ra

Why didn't Gordon Ramsay upvote the picture of the lamb steak?

Because it was /r/aww

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I guarantee Gordon Ramsay always uses protection.

He hates fucking raw.

Gordon Ramsay goes to Australia and whips up a lemon meringue pie.

The whole audience cheers! “That's strange," he says. “I thought Australians usually boo meringue."

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What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

Oh my god put them back in the damn ovens! They're so under-cooked they're writing fucking diaries!

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Whats Gordon Ramsay's favourite sub-reddit.

IT'S FUCKING R/AWW , YOU IDIOT!

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My wife wanted to try a new technique in bed called "the Gordon Ramsay"

It's fucking raw

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Gordon Ramsay's wife

Mrs Ramsay is terrified of asking Gordon to go down on her. You can just imagine his reaction: "YOU EXPECT ME TO FUCKING EAT THAT?!?!?"

What does Gordon Ramsay say to the raw vegetable soup?

THE VEGETABLE SOUP IS SO RAW IT IS STILL STIMMING ON THE WHEELCHAIR

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Gordon Ramsay teaches a sex-ed class

“The way you make babies is FUCKING RAW!!”

Did you hear Gordon Ramsay wrote a book about herbs?

It’s about thyme!

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How does Gordon Ramsays family know he's having a stroke?

The toast is fuckin' burnt

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Why did the chicken cross the road (Gordon Ramsay)

BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT

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How does Gordon Ramsay discern a leopard from a jaguar?

ITS FUCKING ROAR!

Gordon Ramsay goes to a restaurant.

He comes across what looks like soup.

“Let me taste the soup!”

“But...”

“No buts!”

He tasted the soup.

“IT TASTES LIKE DISHWASHER WATER!”

“It is dishwasher water, but you didn’t listen.”

So Gordon Ramsay’s having another kid...

Thought he didn’t like it raw...

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Gordon Ramsay with his son

Son: Hey Dad, let's watch a Disney movie

Gordon: Is it The Lion King?

Son: No, it's Frozen

Gordon: FUCK OFF

I don’t know why Gordon Ramsay calls people a doughnut as an insult

Because honestly if someone called me a doughnut that would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever called me

Gordon Ramsay

The only guy who tells girls to get out of the kitchen

Apparently Gordon Ramsay has 5 children

So atleast we know he likes one thing raw

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Gordon Ramsay in Disney's frozen...

IT'S FUCKING FROZEN! LET IT GOO!!!!

It’s ironic that Gordon Ramsay has so many kids….

Because he doesn’t serve raw meat

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Gordon Ramsay is the best person to teach about safe sex.

Because if theres one thing he hates in life,

"It's fucking raw"

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Gordon Ramsay was waking down the street...

When he saw the cutest dog in his life. He bent down and yelled, it’s fucking r/Aww

If Gordon Ramsay was a WWE wrestler, he'd go to Smackdown.

He hates RAW.

How did Chef Gordon Ramsay lose 100 pounds in under a month?

He started a swear jar.

Me: "Chef Ramsay, today I've prepared a Disney film for you to watch..."

Ramsay: "Is it Frozen?"

Me: "... yes"

Ramsay: "Damn..."

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Why is Gordon Ramsay so bad at revenge?

Because if he served it cold, it’d be fucking raw

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow running computer?

One is a Rack of Lamb, the other is a Lack of RAM

When Gordon Ramsay saw a cute puppy gif on Reddit, why did he get mad?

Because it was /r/aww

What is Ramsay Bolton's favorite band?

Cold Flay

What's Ramsay Bolton's least favorite song?

Who let the dogs out?

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Did you know that Gordon Ramsay is against using protection during sex?

Every time he starts out by yelling, "It's fucking raw!"

Mrs Rosenfeld is suing Mr Ramsay for calling her a pig

Mr Ramsay asks the judge: "is it illegal for me to call Mrs Rosenfeld a pig?"

The judge replies: "yes, of course it's illegal."

Mr Ramsay asks again: "ok, but am I allowed to call a pig 'Mrs Rosenfeld' your honor?"

The judge says: "well yeah, there is no law against that."
<...

What do Donald Trump and Gordon Ramsay have in common?

They both have a cabinet full of potatoes.

How does Gordon Ramsay know that his steak is undercooked?

The Hindus are still worshipping it.

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Gordon Ramsay's father-in-law jailed for six months for hacking chef's computer ...

Apparently, Gordon suspected the hacking when his computer was completely FUCKING FROZEN !!!

Gordon Ramsay screamed at me that I didn't know the first thing about seasoning

But I took it with a pinch of sugar

Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person

Fork

Was just watching the Great British Baking Show

The entire series feels like an apology for sending us Gordon Ramsay.

My wife doesn't realize I'm not complimenting her cooking

When I say "you remind me of Gordon Ramsay"

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Why did the chiken cross the road?

Gordom Ramsay: Because it's so fucking raw that it's still moving

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A man comes home from the bar...

and sees his wife watching Gordon Ramsay's cooking show on the tv.
He says to his wife, "What are you watching that shit for? You can't cook to save your life!"
To which she replies, "So what? You watch porn movies, don’t you?"

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Boris Johnson walks into a Bank

He needs to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?

BJ: Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Bor...

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