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Procede Jokes

A man emptied a punching bag of its content and filled it with Guinness books.

He then proceded to beat all records.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW An Alabama girl comes home...

An Alabama girl comes home from college after dropping out. Her dad answers the door and asks her, “what the hell are you doing here?” She answers that she dropped out of college and wants to become a prostitute, and needs a place to stay. He shouts, “No way in hell are you becoming a prostitute! Th...

A Christian Farmer is overjoyed to see his cow is pregnant

Not being in need; he plans raise the cow and sell the procedes for pure profit

Time passes and the cow ultimately gives birth to two calves.

The Farmer is even happier! Rejoicing and Thanking the Lord.

He tells his wife, "God has been so gracious to us, when I sell these two ca...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lucy is working on the fields

Lucy, a really hot girl, is working on the fields. Stevey walks by and starts talking to her.

'Gee, Lucy, you're smoking hot. I'd really love to touch your breasts.'

'Oiii, what do you think you're doing Stevey?!'

'Lucy, I'll give you $100 if you'll allow me to touch them!'
<...

Three blondes are stuck on an island..

There are three blondes stuck on an island. The blondes a find a magic lamp. Out of the lamp pops a genie who agrees to grant each of the blondes a wish.
The first blonde requests to be smarter so she can find a way off of the island. The genie grants the wish and the first blonde becomes a red...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Marines vs Navy

A Marine walks into the restroom and procedes to use the urinal. When he is done, he travels over to the sink and begins to wash his hands. As he does so, he sees a Navy SEAL walk in, use the urinal, and walk out without stopping to wash his hands. The Marine hurries out of the bathroom and catches ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer laying in bed with his wife when he turns and grabbs her tits while saying

"Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the cow." He procedes to grab her pussy and say "Honey if you could get eggs out of here we could sell the chickens." She smiles and grabs his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could get rid of your brother."

3 ducks go to court

The first duck walks in and the judge ask him "You what is your name." The duck replies to him "My name is Quack." The judge procedes to asking "And why are you here today?" The duck replies " for blowing Bubbles." The judge stops and thinks to himself this isn't a punishable offense so he proceeds ...

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A soldier in World War 2 had just finished serving on the front lines...

On a crowded train ride back from Germany the man is trying to find a seat but alas there is none. Finally he comes along the only open spot on a train with a womans small dog sitting in it.

"Excuse me mam I'm very tired may I sit in that spot?" The man pleads.

"Ugh you Americans are s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Black Knight is coming (NSFW)

One day, a minstrel was passing through the forest when he came upon a small inn. The minstrel was thrilled at the opportunity to get a clean bed, some hot food, and most importantly one of the inn's famous forest beers, which were legendary.

Later in the evening, the minstrel was about to g...

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