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Pitch Dark Jokes

A serial killer takes a victim into the forest. It’s pitch dark.

Victim: I’m scared...
Killer: You’re scared, I have to walk out of here alone

Four people were riding in a compartment on a train in Crimea..

... an old old lady, a beautiful young woman, a Ukrainian man, and a Russian soldier. The train enters a tunnel and it's suddenly pitch dark. Nobody can see a thing. There is a sound of a kiss, a sound of a slap, and when the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is nursing a painful red slap ...

Little boy and a man.

A little boy and a man are walking in the woods one night. It is completely pitch dark you can't even see your hands. The boy looks to the man and says " its so dark out here I'm scared. The man replies with "you're scared i have to walk back by myself"

Two blondes are walking in forest searching for a Christmas tree

They both walk a long time but couldn't find a good one. Hour by hour passes but still none of them are good enough. It's already getting pitch dark. It's already midnight and finally one of them suddenly says "ugh, let's just pick one without decorations"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a train

A nun, a young woman, a German and a French sit together in a train compartment, each one minding his own business, when suddenly the train enters a large tunnel. Unfortunately the lights are not working and it is pitch dark. While in the dark, a loud slap can be heard and when the train finally lea...

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Two Japanese men are driving at night.

To improve their English, they choose to speak in English for the duration of their drive. Not only must they get used to English, they must get used to the differences in the car compared to cars in Japan.

As they set off in the pitch dark road in the backwoods, one of them immediately spea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a snowy, cold winter day...

On a snowy, cold winter day, a priest decides to go visit his brother. Because the path is all snowy, it takes him much longer than he expected.

It was already pitch dark when he sees a light... He decides to follow it and when he comes to it, there is a monastery full of nuns. He knocks and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus is watching!!!

One day a burglar breaks into a house. It's pitch dark so he turns on his flashlight. Suddenly he hears a voice "Jesus is watching". He freezes, swings his flashlight around but can't find the source of the voice. After 2 minutes nothing happens so he goes about trashing the room looking for things ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The English gentleman..

..Mr. Harold James Blessing was a renowned person. He’d retired from service in the British Army, and was revered and liked by all in the town for his best qualities.

One day, while visiting the countryside where he was quite popular, he spotted an immensely pretty, dazzling, drop dead gorgeo...

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