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Peking duck

A man walks into a restaurant and orders Peking duck. He says, “I’m very particular so make sure it’s from Peking.”

About 20 minutes later the waiter returns and places a beautiful, succulent, roasted duck on his table. The man smiles, sticks his index finger in the air, twirls it around seve...

How was president Xi elected?

He was highest in the Peking order.

Why did the Duck know what he was getting for Christmas?

Because he was Peking

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Peking Duck

A man is walking down a street, and sees a Chinese restaurant. He’s hungry, so he decides to eat there.
After being greeted, the man sits down at a table. The waiter then proceeds to ask the man what he wants to eat.
The man says, “Bring me a Peking Duck.” As the waiter starts to w...

When a person looks through your window at night it’s a “Peeping Tom,” but when an animal does it...

...It’s a Peking Duck.

What do you call a water foul on acid?

Peking duck.

I was at a Chinese buffet filling up my plate when I noticed something move in one of the food trays.

I disregarded it and continued filling up my plate before heading back to the table.

After I finished I went up again and made sure to keep an eye on that tray and lo and behold something moved again! This time I get a better look and it appeared to be a pair of eyes pop up, see me and quick...

Why was the Chinese chef banned from the department store fitting rooms?

Because of his Peking duck.

I bought a Chinese takeaway last night

On the drive home I saw the bag was rustling. I looked inside and saw two eyes staring back at me. Panicked, I thought it was a rat or a mouse.

I pulled it out the bag as quick as possible.

Turns out it was just a Peking Duck!

Why are kitchens in Chinese restaurants so efficient?

They have a Peking order.

What fowl plays foul when playing hide and go seek?

A Peking duck

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Mint Contest

John runs a candy shop, selling mints of all kinds. Business was good, until Covid hit.

John realized he’ll have to shut down the store and risk losing his business, unless he could figure out a way to advertise and sell his confections on the Internet. His nephew suggested running a contest ...

A couple went to a Chinese restaurant and ordered the Chicken Surprise.

When the food arrived it was in a cast iron pot.

The boyfriend reached over only to have the lid pop up, and staring back at him were two beady eyes. Then the lid slammed down.

The couple was weirded out by this, but the boyfriend reached over again only to have the lid pop back up and...

I ordered Chinese take out from a place around the corner

Just went to pick it up and as I was driving home I heard the bag rustling and moving!!!

I thought what on earth is that? Has something got in the bag? I thought I could even see a little pair of eyes peering out.

I pulled over, leaned forward, picked up the bag, put it on the passenge...

What do you call a water fowl looking in a window?

Peking duck.

(it came to mind over dinner... I thought I would share the pain with everyone)

Trying out a new restaurant...

A new oriental restaurant opened down the road from my house a few weeks ago, so last Friday I thought I'd go and try it out. As I arrive, I'm served promptly, and the waiter sits me next to a couple. As the waiter hands me my menu, I look to see what the couple next to me are eating. Nothing looked...

What did the perverted sauce say to the Chinese Ribs?

.. I'm only Peking.

Biker Kisses

Back on September 9th, a group of Peking, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who wa...

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