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Olaf Jokes

Russian prime minister Mishustin comes to Putin and nervously tells him to abolish time zones.

"I fly to another city, call home and everyone is asleep. I woke you up at 4AM but I thought it was only evening. - I call Olaf Scholz to congratulate him on his birthday and he tells me he had it yesterday. - I wish the Chinese President a happy New Year, and he says it will be tomorrow."

"I...

Also from my 7 year old nephew: What is it called when Olaf is crying?

A meltdown.

Why did Olaf lose the schnitzel-eating contest?

Because Olaf ate six, Sven ate nine.

A WWII joke for you guys...

Olaf Scholz, the German chancellor, visits France and is not recognized by the customs guard at the French border.

‘Name?’, the guard barks out.

‘Olaf Scholz’, he says.

‘Occupation?’

‘Oh no,’ he says, ‘just for a few days.’

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you here about the man who masturbated with an Olaf plushy?

I thought it was ironic because most people just use their Hans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Norwegian Virgin Wedding

Olaf Swenson, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, took a lightning-quick kick from a cow...right in his crotch; writhing in agony, he fell to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said, "How bad is it Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my fiance...

A guy walks into a bar...

And he is looking for his buddy, Olaf.

He tells the bartender Olaf's full name (Olaf maifrensrgei) and with that the bartender says: "Do we have an Olaf here?" No-one hears him. This time he yells: " Olaf maifrensrgei!" Everyone laughs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Legacies are a funny thing

I was visiting my grandparents in Italy and one night I sat down with my grandfather to ponder life. After several drink my grandfather brings me to the terrace and points out over the city.
He says to me “John, legacies are a funny thing.”
He points over to city hall “John do you see this b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe.

Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The business man who moved to [nsfw]

A high powered business man moved to the mountains to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

For months the only person he saw was the man who delivers his mail.

After 8 months there came a strange knock on the door, when he opens the door, there stood a giant man with a hu...

Sven: I haven't talked to my wife for 3 days.

Olaf: Well whys that?

Sven: I don't like to interrupt.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Top 10 Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes

Here are the Top 10 2017 Edinburgh Fringe Festival Jokes!

1. “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Ken Cheng


2. “Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book.” Frankie Boyle


3. “I’ve given up asking rhetorical q...

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