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Nye Jokes

What is Bill Nye's real name?

William New Year's Eve

Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, and Bill Nye walk into a bar.

Neil and Bill look at Stephen Hawking and yell, "My God, Stephen, you're cured!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The end is nye

Fun fact; you know the saying The end is nigh? Well the latin origin of the word nigh use to be spelt: n y e.

Another fun fact; nye can be an abbreviation of New Year Eve.

Anyways what's your guys' new year's resolution? Mine is to stop making shit up for small talk.

Bill Nye's new show is so bad!

How bad is it?

It turned me into a creationist.


https://youtu.be/7mKOsgko1wc

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If a prostitute had sex with Bill Nye for free...

would that be considered donating your body to science?

Who is Bill Nye when he has a cold?

The Sinus Guy!

What does Bill Nye use to make his sizzurp?

NyeQuil

Bill Nye cloned himself with the help of Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process and resulted in the clone being pure evil. As soon as he was released from the cloning vat, the evil clone killed the good Bill Nye and escaped. Much later, after hunting him for years, Neil deGrasse Tyson finally caught up with the evil clo...

If you had told me back on NYE all the sh*t that’d happen in the first half of 2020...

I would’ve said, “Don’t July.”

Bill Nye's grandfather rented a tuxedo to attend a Rotary convention in Philadelphia. The tuxedo came with an untied bow tie and he didn't know how to tie it.

Just taking a chance he knocked on his hotel's next door and there was a guy there.

\- Excuse me, can you help me tie my tie?

\- Sure. Just lie down on the bed.

The grandfather wasn't sure what he was getting into, but he wanted to have the tie on.

So he lay down on the b...

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

So Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Bill Nye all walk into a bar...

They all finish their drinks and Nye says to the lady behind the bar I'll cover the tab these two will give you their tips.

[Long] Theodore was once a wild horse, happily roaming amongst the sagebrush of Nye County, NV. But he wandered into Area 51 one day.

After the sensors detected his presence, Theodore was captured by scientists and used for experiments. One day, through a highly unethical and bleeding-edge process utilizing CRISPR, he was transformed into a human male.

Not everything carried over well between life as a horse and life as a ...

My fiance, feeling a bit under the weather, just blurted out this knee-slapper at 3AM...

Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

What is Bill's favorite holiday?

NYE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Donut Joke

First time posting, but this is my favorite joke. It takes some acting, and can only be used in certain situations, but I've had rooms of people rolling on the floor.

This joke works best when you are in a group of people all trading jokes. When it comes to your turn, tell the first part:...

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