What do you call Mark Zuckerberg getting therapy?

Tech support

Why would Mark Zuckerberg be a very good taxi driver?

You get in the car and he already knows your name and where you live

My wife asked why I talked so quietly today, I told her I was afraid mark zuckerberg was listening!

She laughed, I laughed, Siri laughed and Alexa laughed!

-James Franco

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He’s explaining Facebook to old people.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and my neighbour Steve?

Steve's not a cunt.

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Guy (angry) : Do you know who I am?

Mark : Yes, you are Scott Thomas, you have 237 friends out of which 37 are females and your wife doesn't know 12 of them. Last holiday you went to Thailand and there you . . .

Guy : Leave it bro, it was my...

A boy walks up to Mark Zuckerberg

The boy says: “My daddy said you were stealing out information”

Mark Zuckerberg replies: “He isn’t your dad”

What is Mark Zuckerberg's favorite VR game?

Monopoly

It would be cool meeting Mark Zuckerberg

He knows everything about you, your interests, etc.

So Mark Zuckerberg and The Pope walk into a bar...

They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...

Alien vs Predator

The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused Mark Zuckerberg significant emotional distress.

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.

He runs Facebook.

What's the difference between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg?

One's a human trying to conquer Mars and the other is an alien trying to conquer Earth.

Note: This joke isn't mine, I heard it somewhere but I forgot where, if it's already been posted send me the link and I'll remove it.

What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and Jean Luc Picard?

Picard didn't sell Data

What was Mark Zuckerberg's favourite game to play as a child?

iSpy.

What is mark zuckerbergs favorite videogame

Detroit become human

A Kid says to Mark Zuckerberg...

Kid:. My Dad says Facebook knows everything and that your spying on people.

Mark: He's not your Dad...

I will never forget a quote by Mark Zuckerberg that is often misattributed to Voltaire:

“While I disapprove of what you say, I will defend to the death my right to make money off of it”

What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?

Data.

So he can mine it.

Mark Zuckerberg is really upset that Facebook is about to be fined $5 billion by the FTC for misusing users’ personal data.

Please respect his privacy at this challenging time.

Donald Trump, the Pope, Mark Zuckerberg, and a schoolboy are on a plane...

Suddenly, they hit turbulence. The pilot, telling them that the plane is going to crash, grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. There are only 3 parachutes left, so Mark Zuckerberg says, "I am worth over 50 billion dollars," and jumps out of the plane. Trump says "I am the smartest man in the...

How many chargers does Mark Zuckerberg carry when he travels?

Three. One for his laptop, one for his phone and one for himself.

When will mark zuckerberg die?

January 19 2038 of course

Why did Mark Zuckerberg only need a sip of water?

Zucculents are excellent at storing water and can thrive in arid climates.

What’s Mark Zuckerberg’s favourite recreational sport?

Fishing

Mark Zuckerberg published “a privacy-focused vision” for Facebook today.

Oh wait, it’s not April 1.

Mark zuckerberg and i were in a band once. We gave him a choice to play the melody, the harmony, or display our newsfeed in chronological order.

But no matter how much we didn't want him to, he kept insisting, "I'll go rhythms. "

Ray Kroc, Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates walk into a bar.

The owner turns his back for a second and lost his bar.

Mark zuckerberg is living out most of this generations greatest fear.

Hes having to explain his undeleted internet history.

My friend warned me that Mark Zuckerberg was the last person I should trust with my information

Literally and alphabetically

What is the most common reply that Mark Zuckerberg gets when he makes a post?

Good bot.

Girls, if a guy remembers your birthday, saves your pictures knows what you enjoy and understands your family and friends,

This guy is not your man.
This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.

Mark Zuckerberg refuses formal appearance before Parliament

Couldn't find a tux with a hoodie

What is the name of Mark Zuckerbergs mother?

Motherzucker

How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus?

Social net twerking

A cyber joke

One day, I started to whisper , so my wife told me why I was whispering. I told her I didn't want Mark Zuckerberg to hear us.

I laughed.

My wife laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

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