Make Me A Sandwich Jokes

“Don’t call me “mommy” just because I slept with your father!”

“So what am I supposed to call you?”

“Just call me Steve, like everybody else.”

DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

“First, you can make you your own freaking sandwich. And second, you don’t have to call me 'Mommy' just because I’m sleeping with your father.”

“But, but ... what should I call you?”

“Thomas is fine.”

She said "no problem"
I turned to my wife and said "now, how hard was that?"

... making it with just my left hand is harder than it seems...

The cat says "Me? how?"

Stops in a small town for lunch.
Walks in a tiny restaurant, waitress is busy in the back, so he looks at the chalk board with daily specials.

It says: Sandwich 5 $
Handy 10$

A little confused, he calls the waitress over and asks:
Are you the one doing the hand... read more

I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.

So I stopped in and had her make me a sandwich, for old times sake.

She's doing stuff in her computer, while he's sitting on the couch typing on his phone.

At one point, wife's cellphone receives a message.

Her phone is charging in the kitchen, so she stands up from her desk and goes to the kitchen.

At the kitchen, she looks up her phone and se... read more

There are three married couples, a couple married one year, ten years, and twenty-five years. All three couples are in a bit of a rough patch, and the wives happen to seek counseling from the same counselor.

The counselor suggests each of wives to try spicing up their love life. "Before your ... read more