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Extended Warranty Jokes

I swear, if I got a nickel for every spam call I got

I would finally be able to pay for my car's extended warranty

Nobody expects the...

Hello, we've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.

Hello darkness my old friend...

I've come to talk to you about your car's extended warranty.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Colonoscopy Prep

My girlfriend is going in to get a colonoscopy tomorrow. She wants me to pick up some large Googly-eyes to make her ass look like a face, then she wants to tuck in a post-it note saying “Psssst: we’ve been wanting to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty.”
Never a dull moment here.

[OC] A genie grants a man his first two wishes, and the man was so upset with how the wishes turned out, that for his third wish, he wished that the genie would go to hell.

The genie arrives in hell, and the Devil is surprised. "We've never had a genie down here before!" the Devil exclaims.

The genie says, "Well, I guess you're my new master, would you care to make your first wish?"

The Devil gets very excited, and quickly replies, "YES! I've been dreamin...

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