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Bug Spray Jokes

The Life of a Bug Spray Salesman

A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. *"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."*

The farmer was dubious. *"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you...

I just got arrested for buying bug spray at a store

Apparently you're not allowed to get Off in public

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the man who drank bug spray?

He pissed off.

Calling your bug spray company "Off" is really smart because when your thrifty wife tells you to buy the "off brand" you'll still be buying the expensive name brand item.

had this thought last night and I need help turning this into a joke

Fun fact: taking a can of bug spray to my phone will delete half my music library

by killing all of The Beatles

Got my homework back and it's full of big green ticks.

Anyone know what bug spray will get rid of them?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Save yourself from a sexual harassment case.

If a fellow employee asks, "Do you know a place I can get Off?". They may just need some bug spray.

My girlfriend asked me to get her off.

I told her it was a little cold outside to be needing bug spray.

Ambush Watch

Down at the Senior Center the other day Joe was telling a tale about his experience in the jungle during his war. It seems that he was wearing a cheap watch one night while on an ambush and it made so much noise that his buddy insisted that he douse the watch with bug spray . . . to get rid of the t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Holy Shit!

The neighbors had been complaining that my dogs had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it.

This evening I was getting the c...

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