Bad Grammar Jokes - 18 Hilarious Bad Grammar Jokes

Stupid but hope you like it sorry for bad grammar

A scottsman an Irishman and an Englishman are all on a plane the scotsman has a bomb an irishman has a knife and the Englishman has a brick the Irishman they all drop there things out of a window when the Irishman gets home he find his dad crying on the sofa in his living room he asks what's wrong h...

I just spoke to Bill Withers. I told him “ain’t no sunshine” is bad grammar

He said “I know I know I know I know I know I know I know I know”

I am unhappy with my made up, mediocre cheesy joke about my bad grammar.

I want to make a gouda one.

A humped man(bad grammar sorry)

A humped man walk around cemetery. Suddenly,a ghost appear and ask a man."Do you have hump"? A man says:Yes I have."So give me that",says ghost a takes a man hump. Man straighten up himself,walk away happily.Another day he meet a friend without legs.He say:Hey I can normally walk,there is a ghost on...

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Pot head gets really high on some good shit and goes home

Gets inside the house and sees his fathers shoes

Oh shit, I better hide somewhere before my pops finds out that I got high again!!

Ok, Ok, I am gonna hide in the living room...

Opens the living room door and sees his dad sitting there and reading a newspaper.

my bad p...

What is worse than bad grammar?

pour grammar

How do you console somebody with bad grammar skills?

There, their, they're.

How does an atom with bad grammar respond to an order?

I on it.

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Good sex or bad sex?

Two women are talking:

“How was the sex last night?” one asks.

“A catastrophe! My husband came from work, had dinner in 3 minutes, after we had 4 minutes sex, he was deep sleep 2 minutes after! That fucker! And yours, How was it? “

”My, was AMAZING! My husband took me out for a...

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Three married women are having a "girls only" night out

**NOTE: I'm TRYING TO TRANSLATE THIS JOKE FROM MY LANGUAGE TO ENGLISH HOPE IT TRANSLATES WELL AND SORRY FOR BAD GRAMMAR**

They are enjoying a lovely evening talking about their lives as they usually do every week when they meet up, one of them is particularly excited and fails to hide her exc...

The difference between mens and womens friendships

A woman came home to her boyfriend late and he asked where she had been. She said: at her friends house. The guy later called 10 of her friends and asked about it and they all denied. A man came home to his girlfriend and she asked about the same thing as the boyfriend had before and he said. At my ...

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Two mathematicians and two physicists take a train to a science symposium

On the ride there just before their tickets are checked the mathmaticians go to the loo and hide together in one cubicle. When asked to present their tickets they slide one under the booth door.

The physicists are stumped, but smart as they are they use the same trick on the return journey. W...

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I was teaching a cooking class.

This week, I was teaching a group of about 20 boys how to cut, prepare and cook meat, and last week I had asked them to bring their own knives because I had a shortage.

One kid, about 16, comes in and asks "Hey, will this be good for slicing beef?" I ignore his bad grammar, instead saying...<...

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There was a white doctor in African village

After a while the local realised that some women had white babies. It didn't bother them much but they was curious about it for months. So after a while they decided to ask him and the leader went to the doctor with some fellas. They asked the doctor;
"Doctor, we don't have any trouble with it bu...

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Three flees who are living in a woman's body

are talking to each other. The first one, who lives in the ear, says: "Well, my life is very easy: my house gets brushed every weak. It's hygienic, and I'm satisfied".
The second one lives in the belly button. He says: "My house is also beautiful. It gets cleaned even every day, and I love it to...

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Grandma and granddaughter

A grandma from a unnamed county was talking to her granddaughter about the insane progress made in the medicine field:

"When I was 20 years old the doctor, the head nurse, the doctor on duty, the emergency doctor, the paramedic and his asistant, the cleaning staff and even the doorman from th...

Lunch

First time posting. Sorry for the bad grammar and punctuation.

There were three construction workers an English and Indian and a Chinese. Everyday at 12 o'clock they'd sit down and eat their lunch. They'd been working at this construction site for a month and everyday they would have the same...

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(Long) God was in the gate's heaven listening how people died, in order to let them in

(I'm really sorry for the bad grammar... I'm not native - feel free to correct the text, so i can edit it)

So the first guy arrives in gate's heaven:

God: So... We need to know how you've died, so we can let you in.

Guy: Ok. You won't believe in that... Me and my wife live...

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