UPJOKE
piratepoliticsahhhhh

Arrrrr

A pirate walked into a bar with a paper towel on his head.

Bartender asked "why the paper towel on your head?"

Pirate says "Aaarrrr there be a bounty on me head"

A pirate walks into a bar with an enormous ship's wheel attached to his groin.

He orders a grog, and as the bartender pours it he says, "Cap'n - forgive me - but what's with the wheel?"
The pirate replies, "Arrrrr - it's drivin' me nuts!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a pirate that pisses on people?

aRRRRR Kelly

Why can't you tell pirate jokes to kids?

Because they're all ARRRRR rated!

If you like non ARRRRR-punchlined pirate jokes that take place in bars.....

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel stuck down the front of his pants. It looks very uncomfortable and he is walking very laboriously.

The bartender, noticing the odd situation asks: "Hey, why do you have a steering wheel stuck down the front of your pants?" to which the pirate rep...

What does a pyromaniac pirate call his son?

Arrrrr-son

Why don't pirates ever take their kids to see movies?

Because they are all rated ARRRRR

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

A pirate walks into the kitchen and announces:

"Someone call fer me?"

I look down at my homework, and back up at the pirate and say, "uhhh, I was just trying to figure out how to do this problem, nothing a pirate could help with."

The pirate walks menacingly toward me, and I con...

What’s a pirates favourite letter?

You’d think it be Arrrrr but his true love be the Seaaaa

What do you call a nurse working on a pirate ship?

An Arrrrr - N

Why do pirates only eat corn on special occasions?

Arrrrr, cause' they cost a buccaneer

What did the pirate say when someone missed the joke?

Arrrrr/woosh

This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy

Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin

Arguably the most common pirate joke around:

What be a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?

Arrrrr! (R)

Ah, ye think be Arrrr, but it be the Sea! (C)

What is a pirates favorite racial slur?

The hard arrrrr

If I had a parrot, I’d teach him two or three pirate jokes and he would just repeat them over and over again, week after week the same jokes. Every time people would be mesmerized.

I’d name my parrot arrrrr/Jokes

Why do so many people post pirate jokes on reddit?

To get k-ARRRRR-ma!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a man’s first day on a pirate ship.

He noticed the captain had a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye.

The man was curious so he asked the captain how he lost his leg.

The captain responded, “Arrrrr, a shark bit me leg off.”

The man asked how he lost his hand. “Arrrr, I lost me hand in a sword f...

What did the generous pirate captain tell his crew?

The loot is arrrrrs.

Did you hear about the pirate who got in trouble at work?

He was reported to H-arrrrr

A Pirate Walks Into a Bar

The bartender immediately sees the man has an eyepatch and peg leg, but notices something strange.

The man has a steering wheel right on his crotch.

Bewildered, the bartender asks, "I understand the eyepatch and peg leg, but what's with the steering wheel on your crotch?"

The pi...

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