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980 Jokes

Several men were in the locker room of the gym when a cell phone on a bench rang and a man put it on speaker and begins to talk. Everyone in the room stopped to listen.

Man: Hello!

Woman: Hi honey, its me. Are you at the club?

Man: Yes.

Woman: Im at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. Its only $2000: is it OK if I buy it?

Man: Sure, go ahead if you like that much.

Woman: I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and ...

Thankfully it's not another virus we have to worry about.

The police have found a large number of dead crows on the 101 just north of
Ventura early this morning, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed
the problem was NOT Avian Flu.
Th...

A man and his friends are at the country club when the phone rings...

The man picks up the phone and says "Hi honey, how are you doing"
The woman says "Hello sweetie, I found some new shoes that cost $90, can I buy them?"
The man replies "Sure hon"
The woman then says "Also the new purse I wanted is here and cost $980, can I buy them?"
The man repl...

[Long] my uncle told me this joke yesterday;

A guy is at the gym, walks into the locker room and the phone rings. He answers and puts it on speaker , "hey babe, I'm at the jewelry store, that ring I wanted is on sale for $25,000." "Okay babe, we'll go ahead and get it if that's what you want." "Well that Lexus I wanted is on sale for $98,000."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During the Obama administration... (long)

During the Obama administration there were a few military cutbacks. As a result, several top generals were asked to retire. All of these men were very well respected and so (in addition to their generous pensions) they were given a bonus check.

Due to a bizarre technicality in the letter of t...

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