In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me: 12 Cancelled Plans 11 Face Masks 10 Sanitizers 9 Murder Hornets 8 Zoom Calls 7 Mental Breakdowns 6 Feet Apart 5 Curbside Pickups 4 Quarantines 3 Travel Restrictions 2 Karens Complaining And a massive shortage of Grocery S...
In the year 2020, the Lord came unto Noah, Who was now living in America and said:
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me."
"Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
"You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start...
I don't know what animal the year 2020 is in the Chinese calendar
but I'm pretty sure it has rabies.
Year 2020 passed like a kid reciting the alphabet.
January — ABCD...
February — EFG...
March — HIJK...
April to December — ELEMENOP.
What's the difference between Humpty Dumpty and the year 2020?
One of them had a great fall.
The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision ...
... I can't wait to see them all.
The year 2020 began with Australia on fire and over a billion animals dead.
Little did we know then that it would be the feel good story of the year.
By the year 2020, the word "Silly" will be considered Harmful.
It will be replaced by "Seriously Challenged."
*year 2020* Nurse: Sir, you've been in a coma since 2017
Patient: I thought I was on a United flight.
Nurse: You were but you were volunteered to get off.
Year 2020: A happening year
1. The WW3 is avoided 2. Australia finally stops burning. 3. 55K+ people died worldwide due to Coronavirus with superclean a\*\*holes.
Maybe in the year 2020...
we'll all see things more clearly.
Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?
The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.
The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
In the year 2020 scientists are trying to come up with an alternative source of fuel. They find out that whale semen works well and is surprisingly cheap. The military here's about this and decides that they could use this for their vehicles, since fuel for tanks is expensive. So they order a few co...
The International Criminal Court of Justice in the Hague, in the case brought before it against the year 2020 and COVID-19, has ruled the phrase "Bah humbug!" is no longer just for Christmas and should now be used year round.
Back in time
Stop me if you heard this joke:
Jimmy magically traveled back in time hundreds and hundreds of years.
He walked around the village feeling very superior to these uneducated and backward people. Saw them practicing with bows and arrows, riding horses, etc.
He walked up to the me...