Would You Rather Jokes - 23 Hilarious Would You Rather Jokes

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Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or sit on a cake and eat dick?

Interviewer: We meant questions about the job

Would you rather have a mistress or a wife?

A doctor, a lawyer, and a scientist were asked if they would rather have a mistress or a wife.

The doctor says I would rather have a wife so that I have someone to go home to after a long day at the hospital.

The lawyer says I'd rather have a mistress that way I don't have to...

Would you rather be blind or deaf?

I don’t know about you, but I just can’t see myself being blind.

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Asked my wife "Would you rather...?

Me: Would you rather me get bit in the dick by a snake and the only way to save my dick is to give me blowies every single day for the rest of your life, OR have my dick just fall off?

Wife: I guess I would give you head....

**Serious question:** Does anyone know where I can find a...

Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?

A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.

Would You Rather Wake Up A Billionaire, Or A Homeless Person?

Probably The Homeless Person. He can't kick you out!

Thank you, I'll be here all quarantine.

Would you rather eat a chicken leg or a shooting star?

You'd probably say the chicken, but I'd pick the star... it's a little meteor.

The job interviewer asked me: "Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?"

I said, "I'd rather trade intelligence for intelligence."

Would you rather eat a baby goat or a matur baby?

“What’s a matur baby?”

Nothing much, what’s a matter with you baby.

What would you rather climb, a rope or stairs?

I prefer the ladder.

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My girlfriend asked me, “Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?”

I said, “Of course.”

A priest asked me, "Who would you rather fight: God or me?"

I said God because the priest actually exists

Which rapper would you rather bring back from the dead?

- Tupac
- Biggie Smalls
- Eazy E
- Meek Mills

When going to the toilet, would you rather use the left or right hand to wipe your buthole

I would personally rather use the toilet paper.

Good news, bad news

Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news. What would you rather hear first?

Patient: Gee, I don't know...gimme the good news first I guess.

Doctor: The operation was 100% successful

Patient: That's great news! So what's the bad news?!

Doctor: We amputated the wr...

What would you rather be stamped on by a herd of elephants or an angry woman in high heels...

At least the elephants you could reason with

My wife asked me ...

Wife: "Would you rather spend a romantic weekend with A). me, or B) --"

Me: "B."

I don't mind using my roommates toothbrush

I mean would you rather be ruthless or toothless

My Parents are Divorcing and Went to Court

The judge asks me who I would want to live with. "I don't want to live with my dad because he beats me, but I don't want to live with my mom because she beats me too," I say. "Then who would you rather live with," the judge asks. "The Phoenix Suns, they never beat anybody".

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A Serious Accident

A man wakes up in a hospital after a serious accident. He looks around and sees the doctor coming up to him. The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you will be able to walk again without rehabilitation. The bad news is that due to the severity of the accide...

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan...

A rather bad man dies and meets Satan in a room with three doors. Satan explains, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have to spend eternity behind one of these doors. But, the good news is that you can take a peek behind each and take your choice."
So, the man opened the fir...

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So a man is dying...

A man is dying, the doctors tell him. But the cure for his rare disease is strange... "The only way you'll live is if you start to eat things through your ass." The doctor said. "You're serious? That's gonna make me live? How embarrassing..." The man says. "Would you rather shove food up your butt, ...

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Anti-Vaxxers

Two rooms are in front of you.

You must enter one.

The room on the left has a doctor with a small erect cock. You enter this room, and he fucks you in the ass.

The room on the right has a group of 50 muscular, big veined, black cocks. You enter this room and they're all gonna...

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