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Tyrion Jokes

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Tyrion's joke completed

Tyrion walks into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass.
Madame: What can we do for you?
Tyrion: I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me.
Madame: Whatever for? And what's with the honeycomb and the mule?
Tyrion: My woman found a genie in a bottle, and he granted her three wis...

Tyrion Lannister was unusually smart

Usually, white dwarfs are very dense.

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Why did Brandon Stark ask Tyrion to jerk him off?

because he is the hand of the king.

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Was in the bathroom the other day next to the guy that played Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones.

He wasn’t paying attention and pissed on my shoes. Damn that Peter Sprinklage.

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Tyrion devises a cunning plan to invade Westeros...

... but Daenerys, Grey Worm, Missandei, Varys, Yara and Theon are all hesitant about his risky scheme -- so Tyrion says "What, am I the only one with balls around here?"

What does daenerys give to tyrion?

A hand job

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I thought it would be funny to grab Tyrion Lannister's penis...

...but I was just pulling his leg.

Why didn't Greece vote for Tyrion?

Because a Lannister always pays his debts.

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My mom just told me about the time she met Peter Dinklage before GoT, when he performed Richard III at a public theater in NY.

I asked her if she meant Richard 1/3.


I’m not short enough to not feel just a little bit bad about making this joke, but I felt like Tyrion would approve.

HBO may have ruled out a GOT spinoff with Arya

But they haven't ruled out a sitcom that follows Tyrion and Bran as they rule the six kingdoms

"Two Half Men"

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