What do you call a two foot amputee?

Defeeted

Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van.

One turns to the other says:

"I think we got off on the wrong foot."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For those of you that never heard an ending to Bender's joke from the movie The Breakfast Club.

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle down on the bar and the bartender says "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The blonde says "as a matter of fact, make it a double scotch on the rocks! I was just drying off af...

John is playing golf with the vicar

He misses a three foot putt, and says "damn, missed the buggar."

The vicar warns him "keep talking like that and God will open up the heavens and strike you dead with lightning."

John then misses a two foot putt, and repeats "damn, missed the buggar."

Sure enough, God opens th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes into the confessional at church one afternoon...

“Father, I have sinned. I took the Lord’s name in vain, today.”

“My son, that’s a very egregious sin. Perhaps you could tell me the circumstances that led up to this.”

“Well, Father, I was golfing this morning- on the 16th green, two under par, when I chipped off into the rough.”
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man runs into a bar...

A man runs into a bar, and demands to the barkeep: "Quick! How tall do penguins grow?"

"About two foot sir" replies the bartender

"Shit. I've just run over a nun."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad went to play golf...

On a sunny Saturday afternoon and was randomly paired up with a priest. On the first hole, dad missed a three foot putt for par and said to himself "G*d damn it, I missed!"

The priest said to him "My son, please do not take the lord's name in vain."

On the second hole, my dad missed a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The end to Bender's naked lady joke in The Breakfast Club...

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table.
Bartender says " I suppose you won't be needing a drink"
Naked Lady says ..... (*Bender falls through ceiling*)
**"Well, my boyfriend and I were just ab...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mr. Smith died (Rus. Trans.)

A doctor comes to work one day, and sees one of the nurses crying.
"Why are you crying, Mary?" he asks her.
"Don't you know doctor? Mr. Smith died."
The doctor doesn't know who Mr. Smith is, so he asks the nurse but she just goes on crying.
The doctor, mystified, goes to his office, and ...

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