UPJOKE
beefsteakcomplexusmarbled meat

A guy walks into a busy bar and sees two ribeye steaks hanging from the ceiling.

He asks the bartender what’s up with the steaks. The bartender tells him it’s a challenge, if he can jump and touch the ribeyes he can drink free all night. However if he try’s and fails, he has to buy everyone in the bar a drink. The bartender then asks him if he’d like to try. The man replies “No ...

A man walks into his favorite restaurant…

He sits down and orders a medium rare ribeye steak. As he’s eating, he looks up and sees a woman giving him a dirty look. The man assumes the woman is a vegetarian since she is only eating a large bowl of salad and greens.
The man tries to ignore her but after a few uncomfortable minutes he puts...

A man and his wife went to a new restaurant...

A waiter soon comes up to their table.
Waiter: Good evening, what would you like to order?
Wife: I would like to have the salad, no nuts, please.
Waiter: Certainly, ma'am.

The man quickly leans over to his wife.
Man: But there isn't any mention of nuts in the menu de...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Will I make it to 85?

On his 70th birthday a man retired and moved to Florida to enjoy his golden years. Settling in, he found a new doctor. At his first wellness exam the doctor told him,

“You’re doing reasonably well for your age.”

A little concerned by the comment, the man pushed further, “Will I make i...

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