UPJOKE

Never Wrong Jokes

Mom's Never Wrong

**Me** : Mom, I'm going to my Girlfriend's house !

**Mom** : Get a Safety Along ! Use contraceptives ;-)

**Me** : Mom, I', Just 15 !

**Mom** : And I'm Just 30 !!!

Why are artificial intelligences in movies always female?

Because they're never wrong

We sell piglets by weight and my wife has a unique way of weighing them.

She grasps their tail in her mouth, lifts them, proudly announcing their weight.
When checked on a scale, she's never wrong!
The other day a customer showed up and my wife was not around. "Where is your mother?" I asked my son, he replied "Oh she's in the house, weighing the mailman".

My step sister's hand got caught in the sink.

I Googled for a solution and there it was.

The tutorial was weird but Google is never wrong.

100 humps and her hand got unstuck.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Fortune Teller

Guy walks into a bar and sees a machine in the corner labeled "The Fortune Teller". He asks the bartender what it does. The bartender says, "You put in a dollar and get a cup. Go piss in the cup, put it back in the machine and it'll tell you your fortune ...and it's never wrong." The guy replies "Bu...

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