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Mueller Jokes

A German is trying to to make his way to Paris

At the border, the French customs agent asks him

“Name?”

“Hans Mueller.”

“Place of residence?”

“Munich.”

“Occupation?”

“No, just vacation this time.”

Stirlitz and Mueller walk out of the bar.

"Let's pick up some girls" suggests Mueller.

"You have such a kind heart" replies Stirlitz, "but let's leave them on the ground."

Bob Mueller walks into a bar.

BARTENDER: "What'll you have?"
MUELLER: "Just Ice."

How is the Tiananmen square massacre similar to the Mueller report?

[REDACTED]

We should build a wall Out of the Mueller report...

Because noone can get over it!

What did Trump say to Mueller?

Stop Russian to conclusions.

Did you hear that Donald sent Melania to find out about the Mueller probe?

She came back and told him it's at least eight inches.

Donald Trump, Robert Mueller, and Vladimir Putin find themselves standing at the Pearly Gates.

“Are we dead?”, Mueller asks.

“No,” Saint Peter says. “You’ll be going back shortly. I need to correct a mistake that was made before any of you were born. We mixed up your names! See,” he turns to Mueller, “you were supposed to be named Trump, to symbolize how, like a Trumpet, you are to s...

Mueller: Please tell me why you have so many suspicious Russian connections.

Trump: I have a perfectly treasonable explanation!

A man walks into a bar

The man, named Robert Mueller, scowls and asks, "Why the hell do you keep getting in my way, William?"

Robert Mueller has uncovered that Donald Trump dropped Quaaludes with the entire USSR hockey team prior to their stunning defeat to the US at the 1980 Olympics "Miracle on Ice" in Lake Placid, NY. So what's the crime in that?

He quaalluded with the Russians

An American, a Frenchman and an East German (this joke takes place in 1982)

are having a few drinks and discussing what true happiness is.

The American says "For me, true happiness is to work hard all day at a job I love, and then to come home and share dinner with my family."

The Frenchman says "Oh, you Americans, you're obsessed with work. To me true happine...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rachel Maddow & Joy Reid die & go to heaven.

When they arrive at the Pearly Gates, God is there to greet them: "Welcome. You are free to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."


Breathlessly, without hesitating, Rachel asks, "Why didn't Mueller prosecute Trump-Russia treason? Was he in on the conspiracy???"

G...

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web
The president was tweeting as the market went red
The government was closed because of a wall
In hopes that Mexico, would pay for it all

The people were nestled, their head in their hands
While visi...

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