UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beloved UPS man was moving away in his local neighborhood and he was doing his last deliveries...

the first home he went to a red head answered and gave him a card and a hug saying how much he will be missed and the best of luck! He gave her the package then and moved onto the next house. A brunette opened the door and kissed him on the cheek and a card saying he will be missed and the best of l...

My housemates threw a moving away party for me.

I just wish they did it before I left.

I bought a pedometer and tested it with a quick walk around the neighborhood.

I'm moving away as soon as possible.

A man is walking on the sandy beaches of the US east coast

When suddenly he bumps his foot at something. Moving away some sand he finds it to be a magic lamp. He immediately starts rubbing the lamp and a genie appears.

Being grateful for being released after 200 years, the genie offered the man to make one wish of something he really wanted in his li...

No more oil!

Saudi Arabia is definitely moving away from oil based economy. Milk is a interesting commodity. I bet soon they will dominate the market , these new milkshejkes.

I installed a pedometer app on my phone

But whichever direction I walk, I seem to be moving away from the kids.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Grandad told me this one (the guy is a legend)

A girl is sat in the hairdresser's, eating some cake.

She is sat quite close to the barber, so she asks,

"Excuse me sir, would you mind moving away from me a bit, I'm going to get hair on my muffin"

He replies, "Yeah, and your gonna get tits aswell."


NOTE: I have no c...

Mass Extinction

The Lunar Laser Ranging experiment has shown that the moon is moving away from the earth at a rate of about two centimeters a year. If you perform a regression you'd find that 65 million years ago, the moon must have been orbiting the earth at a height of about 20ft, which, if you think about it, ex...

Soviet Joke

Soviet Union, 1980. Lecturer in village talks about communism. Question from audience.

- Yes, comrade, what's your question?
- Will there ever be true communism?
- Yes, it's just on the horizon
- What's a horizon?
- An imaginary line that keeps moving away from you as you get clos...

Irish accent recommended

A young Irish man named Paddy was moving away to London. He went to his next door neighbors (3 miles away) to say his goodbyes. His neighbors, Mr and Mrs Dunne, said their goodbyes and they asked Paddy


"Could you find our daughter Nelly Dunne and ask her why she isn't writing back home p...

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