A Swiss mountain guide gives his tourists the final instructions on how to behave when climbing the Matterhorn.
"So when crossing from the summit ridge to the Hörnligrat, you have to take good care that you don't slip. If a mishap should still happen to you, then do not miss to look sharply to the left after 100 metres of free fall. There you have a fantastic view of the Dufour peak".
An experienced mountain guide leads a tourist from the big town trough a narrow cliff.
The tourist annoys the guide with dozends of questions. The guide swallows his pride and paitiently answers all the questions the tourist has. Finally they reach a spot the guide has the tourist on suspense on a long rope.
"Oh it´s deep here" the tourist says.
"Yep, always was" the gui...
A rich lady hires an old mountain guide for a climbing trip in the Alps
One day, as they cross into Switzerland for more climbing, they are stopped at the frontier by a custom agent. He makes them open their bags and, with Swiss serious and thoroughness, inspects the contents of the lady's bag first.
He immediately finds 6 pairs of panties and cries:
"Ha! ...
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