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Motivational Speaker Jokes

A man tries to find success as an Anti-motivational speaker

"In today's world of toxic positivity, we need more HEALTHY NEGATIVITY! Acknowledge your limitations! Understand your lack of potential! Remember that in this world of many people, you are NOT SPECIAL and EASILY REPLACEABLE!"

An audience member suddenly stood up, tears streaming down his fac...

A motivational speaker gave blood, what was his blood type?

B-Positive

How many motivational speakers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero, because the change starts with you.

People say I should be a motivational speaker,

But I don't have the motivation.

What did the motivational speaker ask the bottle of water?

Do you have what it takes to be a liter?

What did the motivational speaker dolphin believe?

That everybody in life has a porpoise

Motivational speakers: Say "I will" instead of "I wish"

Me: I will my parents loved me

A motivational speaker retired due to depression

He discovered he had B Negative blood

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A motivational speaker talks about getting what you want

A motivational speaker has a crowd all riled up. "If you want sweets,", he says, "buy a sweets shop. If you want to lose weight, just lose weight! Whatever you want, just take it!"

After wrapping up and getting ready to leave, he pauses at the parking lot. "Who took my *fucking* motorcycle...

Hippo was a great motivational speaker. Hippo taught that you must never give up. Hippo didn’t follow his own advice.

Hippo Quit

What do you call a group of motivational speakers?

A fleece.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

I blew a speaker in my car today..

It was a motivational speaker. It left a bad taste in my mouth, but I feel a lot better about myself.

I have always wanted to be a motivational speaker. To get the crowd on their feet. To feel optimistic about the day ahead, or even the life ahead. To make them feel like all their dreams are within arms reach with just a little hard work and the willingness to be something more than just who you are

Im just too lazy to get up.

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