Long Drive Jokes - 10 Hilarious Long Drive Jokes

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A man is on his way home of a very long drive.

Every day he has a very long and slalomy ride to do but today near the start of his drive all of a sudden his rear-left tyre got punctured and he has to stop.
On the side of the road he finds a dirty strange object that's pulsating. He checks it out and a genie comes out.

"I'M THE GENIE A...

What would a bike say after a long drive?

I'm two tyred.

A driver, tired from a long drive, drives into a park for some rest

It's early in the morning and he's about to fall asleep when he's woken by a knock on the door. Its a jogger. He says 'Excuse me sir, do you know the time?' The driver looks at his car clock and says sleepily 'It's 5:00'. The jogger thanks him and leaves.

He's just nodding off again when ther...

Mans best friend

I was having troubles with my girlfriend.

We were always arguing, usually about my behaviour or my friends circle; mostly about nothing in my eyes.

One day she said why don't we get a dog. Great idea! We got a puppy and we went for a long drive into the country side.

When we got...

Sean Connery arrives at a grand hotel ready for filming the next day

The director meets him, and is delighted "great to see you, Sean, its an honour to have you join us for this project" he says.

"The pleasure is mine" Sean replies, "though it's been a long drive and I'm tired. Is my room ready?"

"Of course, of course, I have your key right here", he sa...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson decide to go camping.

They pack their camping gear into the car and drive into the countryside. After a long drive and a light dinner they pitch their tent, climb inside, and are soon fast asleep in their sleeping bags.

In the middle of the night Sherlock shakes Watson awake. He points to the full moon and says, "...

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[NSFW] Joke I found in a vintage porno from the 1930's.

So this is a simple time where men are men and women are women.

Tommy is on a date with Stacy and takes a long detour 10 miles outside of town. He propositions her for sex, and if she doesn't put out she can walk home.

Stacy walks home.

A second date happens as Tommy proceeds to...

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Bob's a truck driver

Bob gets bored on long drives, so he came up with a game. If he sees a lawyer walking on the sidewalk, he'll hop the curb and run him over.

One day, Bob picks up a hitchhiking priest. The priest is quietly studying his Bible. Bob sees a lawyer. Because the priest was so quiet, Bob forgo...

A Woman & a Shepard

(Preface: My father told me this joke when I was little.)

There once was a woman who was sick of all the blonde jokes she had been the victim of. So, she decided to make a change - she dyed her hair, freshened up her wardrobe, even bought herself a new car. Feeling like a bee person, she vent...

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The bats will get ya

One day, a man walks into a bar in Florida. He asks the bartender for a beer, to which he replies

"Sorry, can't do that, the bats'll getcha."

Confused but sober, the man decides to drive a mile down the road to the next bar. He walks in and asks the bartender for a beer.

"S...

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