UPJOKE

Life Like Jokes

I lost $5 million dollars investing in a bogus company that claimed to be planning to produce life like/sized Henry Winkler dolls.

It was a Fonzie scheme.

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I like my sex life like how I like my video games

Single player

How is life like a cup of espresso?

Life is short, dark, and bitter.

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How is life like toilet paper ?

>!You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone!<

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Why is life like a penis

Cuz it’s hard and I suck at it

Why is life like a bowl of soup?

Because the only way you will get blown is if you are hot.

"What's life like in North Korea?"

"Oh, I can't complain."

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A guy wins the lottery. So he decides to live his life like rich people. What does rich people do ? They play golf, so he goes to a country club to play golf.

He didn’t know anything about golf. Didn’t bring a caddie . After an hour of struggling/playing, he gets lost. Didn’t see anyone until finally he sees a girl and asks her..
“ Sorry, to bother you, but I dont know where I am, could you tell me ?”.... “Sure, you are in the 5th hole, Im in the 6t...

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Q: How is life like a penis?

A: Your girlfriend makes it hard.



and she's a big old bitch like her mother..

The good news is that you're going to live the rest of your life like a billionaire.

The bad news is .... it's Howard Hughes.

I always wanted a life like a Disney princess

I should have specified not the part where they are stuck at home, cleaning the whole day

People living with HIV, what is your daily life like?

I’m guessing pretty positive

Life is like the ocean

In the years before World War II, in a little Polish village, a learned rabbi used to teach his students, “Life is like the ocean.” And they would nod and respond, “Yes, life is like the ocean.” One young student was particularly taken with this philosophy, and he carried it with him through the lon...

What was life like in the Mongol Empire?

It had its pros and khans.

I asked my chinese friend what is life like in China

He said he can’t complain.

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How is life like a jar of jalapeños?

What you do today could burn your ass tomorrow.

According to Carl Jung, I should live life like a kleptomaniac hooker...

...and take things as they come.

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