UPJOKE

Life Is Like Jokes

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Life is like a dick

it gets hard for no reason and it's much shorter than you expected it to be.

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My sex life is like COVID-19.

I don't have COVID-19.

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My sex-life is like Coca Cola....

...first it was normal, then it was light and now it's zero!

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Life is like a penis

It gets hard when you least expect it

Life is like a box of chocolates

**It doesn't last long for fat people**

Life is like chess...

We can't all be white.

My momma said "Life is like a box of condoms..."

Runs out faster than you expect, and your mistakes will outlive you.

My love life is like a fairy tale

it's grim.

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Life is like a toilet paper

One minute you’re on a roll


And the next minute, you’re taking shit from some asshole

My life is like an over produced comic book series

It's just one issue after another, and the plot doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

Life is like coding.

They've both got their breakpoints, and when you hit them it's time for some introspection.

I asked my friend what life is like in Santiago.

He said it's really nice, but pretty Chile.

Life is like a helicopter

I have no idea how to operate a helicopter

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Life is like ass hair

Short and full of shit

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My work life is like my sex life

I work hard, fast, and I always come early

Life is like a warranty

It always runs out at the worst time possible

Life is like driving behind a BMW.

You‘ll never know when it suddenly takes a turn.

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My sex life is like the Covid vaccine

Less than 20 seconds long and the next shot is after 6 weeks

Life is like a nice, hot, bath.

The longer you're in it, the more wrinkles you'll get.

Life is like a golf match

A long series of tough hits until your in a hole in the ground

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My sex life is like the Sahara desert.

It’s basically just intolerable heat, two palms, no dates and lots of emptiness.

(OC)

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Life is like being a guy in a prison

You dont know how when or by whom you are gonna get fucked next.

life is like a box of chocolates....

it is destroyed remarkably fast by an emotional woman.

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Life is like a shit sandwich......

the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.

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My sex life is like looking for a parking spot...

The best ones are always taken and when nobody looks I'll just take the disabled one.

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My life is like a penis with legs chasing a vagina with legs.

It’s just one fucking thing after another

Life is like the ocean

In the years before World War II, in a little Polish village, a learned rabbi used to teach his students, “Life is like the ocean.” And they would nod and respond, “Yes, life is like the ocean.” One young student was particularly taken with this philosophy, and he carried it with him through the lon...

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My sex life is like a game of pool.

Or at least like the 2 blue ball.

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My sex life is like an explosion

I watch them online, but never take part

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My sex life is like the show Magic Schoolbus

I take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.


Also, it's completely fictional.

Life is like soccer

My mom signed me up for it even though I hate it

[OC] Life is like a game of Tetris...

When you fit in, you disappear

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My sex life is like my credit card.

It expired a long time ago.

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My wife told me our sex life is like Usain bolt when he runs…

In the sense that I finish in 9.58 seconds

My love life is like a game of minesweeper

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

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My sex life is like Star Wars

Its either Hans Solo or I have to use the force...

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Life is like sex

Religious people don't want you to enjoy it.

Life is like a Rubik's cube

If you get one side of it all smooth and organized, you usually mess up all the other sides in the process.

Life is like game of poker

If you don't have pair you must have good hand..

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My sex life is like Coronavirus.

It's caused many people to cover their face and it's ruined countless lives.

To me, life is like God

I'm an atheist

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