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Just The Tip Jokes

What do you get when you play "Just the Tip" with a Norse God?

Thorskin
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Not to brag, but I’ve satisfied every waitress that has ever served me.

With just the tip.
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I’ve never seen anyone make a “just the tip” joke in Japan.

Because in their culture, they don’t take tips.

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I guy goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his anus.

The doctor, obviously disgusted, takes a look and says "ugh, that's nasty".
To which the man responds, " Nasty? Doc, that's just the tip of the iceberg"

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the Mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.

"Well done, son! Now ...
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That rabbi's gone crazy! He's been running around a circumcising all kinds of lettuce...

and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
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'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.'

The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'
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So I took this girl home from the bar

And once we started getting down and dirty I noticed a bit of lettuce sticking out her arse. I said " you know you have a bit of lettuce sticking out your arse right?" And she replied "oh its just the tip of the iceberg"

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A man goes into the doctors with butt pain

A man goes into the doctors with butt pain

Man: Doctor my butt really hurts, I need help

Doctor: Can I take a look?

Man: Sure

Doctor: It seems you have a piece of lettuce stuck inside your butt

Man: That's just the tip of the iceberg

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A guy is feeling horrible so he goes to the doctor...

During the exam the doctor is shocked, "Oh my god! No wonder you feel bad, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of your butt!"
The man says, "Yeah, and that's just the tip of the iceberg!"

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A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy

Doc say's 'that looks nasty'.
She say's 'Nasty? That's just the tip of the iceberg!

So the FBI only interviewed ten people in the Brett Cavanaugh investigation, despite getting thousands of leads.

I guess their tip line was actually a “just the tip” line.
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Someone gave me a $30 tip today

He said if I wanted more than just the tip it would be $60.
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I have a friend who always thinks that the waitresses we get want to have sex with him

I try and tell him that they want just the tip

What did the triangle say to the circle?

“Ay bb you’re all curves, lemme smash. Come on, just the tip.”

So the circle says

“Wow … you’re rather pointed”

And the triangle replies,

“At least I’m not a square.”
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Today I ran out of toilet paper and had to resort to lettuce leaves.

Today was just the tip of the iceberg.
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What did the Titanic say to the iceberg?

"Okay, but just the tip."
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All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper...

Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
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What do a virgin and waiter have in common?

They both want just the tip.

I ran out of toilet paper

and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Fun Fact, in the country I was born we really used leaves as toilet paper
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I'm not sure how much you know about the story of the Titanic...

...but what caused it to sink is just the tip of the iceberg.
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So when I was a kid, I was in the Duke TIP program for gifted children. Later on, I applied to Duke University, but was unfortunately denied...

A friend asked me if I made it into Duke, and I said "Just the TIP."
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My wife has developed a fetish with salad items...

Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass.

And that was just the tip of the iceburg

Quarantine has been hard. I've run out of toilet paper, and have to use lettuce leaves. It's only going to get worse, though...

This is just the tip of the iceberg.
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I suspect my local greengrocer is overcharging for veg.

He's only charged me full price for an undersized lettuce, but I'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg.
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Why are astronauts' wives always frustrated?

Because their husbands dock just the tip.
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What did the boron control rod say to the nuclear core before prematurely exploding ?

Just the tip.
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I had to leave my wife due to a sex/salad fetish

It started on our wedding night when she tried to shove a whole lettuce up my ass.

That was just the tip of the iceburg

I went to the doctors with a lettuce just poking out of my bottom...

The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg
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Just a compilation of 10 corny jokes that still make me chuckle.

1. What was wrong with the wooden car with wooden wheels?
It "wooden" go!

2. Why can't a dick be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot

3. A guy walks into the doctors office with a piece of lettuce hanging out of his ass. The doc takes one look and he says, "It looks like w...

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A guy walks into a proctologist’s office...

The doctor asks, “what seems to be the problem?”

“Well,” the man says, “I have a piece of lettuce sticking out of my asshole.”

The doctor, with a puzzled expression on his face, says “ok, well pull down your pants and let’s have a look.” The man obliges and sure enough there is a piec...

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A man walks into his doctor’s office with an extreme pain in his backside

Seeing his clearly in pain, the doctor asks him to bend over. After a few seconds the doctor exclaims, “You’ve got a piece of lettuce hanging out of your anus!”

Grimacing, the man said, “Doc- that’s just the tip of the iceberg!”

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A woman goes to church for confession...

A perfect 10/10, one of the most beautiful women in the world.

“Forgive me father for I have sinned.”

“What sins will you be confessing today, my child?”

“I cheated on my husband with another man.”

The priest, still a virgin at age 58, loses all sense of decency as an ide...

The Captain of the Titanic heard a massive crunch.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg.
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Lettuce leave

Ashen faced Joe Smith goes to see his doctor.
“Doc I have a piece of lettuce coming out of my ass.”
The doctor gravely does an ass exam with much tut tutting, poking and prodding.
“What’s going on Doc? Is it serious?”
“Well Mr Smith. I have some bad news. Unfortunately, it’s just the t...

A waiter says to a customer "Excuse me, miss, but you appear to have some lettuce stuck in your pants."

"That's just the tip of the iceberg." She replies.
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What did the leper leave the prostitute?

Just the Tip.

Why was the hooker upset?

He gave her just the tip.
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*at cash register*

ME: Do I swipe the whole card or...

*[seductively inserts chip]*

Just the tip?

CASHIER: *[into mic]* Security
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What did the fat guy give to the fat girl?

Just the tip...
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If anyone advises you how much lettuce to put on your burger, stop them right there.

That's just the tip of the iceberg.
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A pizza delivery guy knocks on the door

Two men answer the door and invite him inside. They ask him if he wants to have a threesome. He replies, "just the tip please".
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