UPJOKE
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Jim Beam Jokes

A drunk goes in a bar and asks for a shot of Jim Beam.

The bartender pours it and the drunk pushes it aside and asks for another shot of Jim Beam. The bartender pours it and the drunk drinks it. The bartender says, "I watched what you did and I don't understand why you pushed the first one away and drank the second one!" The drunk stated," I've been goi...

Did you hear the Jim Beam warehouse was destroyed in a fire?

It burned all the way down

Johnnie Walker, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam walk into a bar

What is this, said the bartender, Alcoholics Eponymous?

To play it safe I got all 3 shots this weekend

A shot of Crown Royal, a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Jack Daniels.

A drunk walks into a pet store

. . . and leans heavily on the counter. "Gimmie a shot of Jim Beam," he slurs to the clerk.

"I, I'm sorry, sir," says the clerk, "you must be mistaken. This is a--"

"Goddamnit, I wanna (hic) drink, you can't tell me what mzmblrf kn izzenuf!" shouts the drunk, slamming his fist on the ...

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym.

He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.

After an uneventful flight and some t...
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