After calling 5 different home security companies...
....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
What do you call worms in front of a home security camera?
Ring worms
My neighbor sells home security systems door to door. He's pretty good at it too.
If nobody's home he just leaves a brochure on the kitchen table.
I'm making a killing selling home security systems...
All I do is say "Hello" at 3am, sitting on the end of their bed.
My neighbours said they wanted to talk to me about my bad home security habits.
So I said “Sure, my door is always open”
When I was younger I used to sell home security alarms door to door.
I was always selling the most security alarms out of anyone else I worked with. "What's your secret?". If I went to call on a house and nobody was home, then I would just leave a brochure on the kitchen table.
Save money on home security and alarm systems by flying flags of politically taboo groups on the front
The police will watch your house for free!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting
He said this is his home security camera
I've got all of Justin Biebers CDs......
...and if I can get passed his home security again I'll have all his dvds as well.
So my house got broken into while I was away and the monitoring company called my cell...
"Hello, this is Xfinity home security. We see your alarm is going off and we can have someone respond to it next week Thursday between 8 Am and 5 pm, will that work for you?"
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