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Driving Instructor Jokes

Having Gandalf as a driving instructor is awful

Keeps telling me I'm not gonna pass :(

Why my driving instructor hated me:

Instructor: First, depress the brake pedal.

Me: (pointing at brake) You’ll never go anywhere in life without your brother’s help!

I have a Russian driving instructor.

He tells me to "Putin to 1st" but i always end up Stalin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Driving Instructors make good Physical Therapists?

Because they can teach fine motor skills

Harvey Weinstein was a driving instructor before becoming a film producer

He was teaching one of his first students, an attractive young girl, how to drive. He said,

‘lift your left leg off the clutch to start moving.’

A few minutes later, he said,

‘lift your right leg off the accelerator to let the car slow down.’

The girl asked him,
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My driving instructor asked me if I checked my mirror.

I said, "No, why?"

He said, "Because you look fucking hideous."

My hot driving instructor said "Look where you want to go"

Apparently staring at her crotch wasn't what she meant...

"You've got to let people know where you're going!" said my driving instructor as we merged on to the expressway...

"OK!" I replied as I updated my Facebook status.

Bob Ross used to say, "There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents."

Lovely man, terrible driving instructor.

I helped lead a blind man into our local supermarket today.

I mean we were aiming for the car park but I'm a driving instructor, not a miracle worker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I confess: I've masturbated myself while driving.

And that was the only time my driving instructor had to stop the car.

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