I'm starting an all-male cross-dressing dixie chicks tribute band

I'm calling it chicks with dixies

Why don't people do reverse cowgirl in Dixie?

Because you don't turn your back on family.

I got to test the new self driving prototype, the Ford Dixie

But it crashed and I can't get the police to help. They hang up every time after I tell them "My Dixie wrecked"

Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.

Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of ...

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What do you say when the Viagra starts to work?

My Dixie Wrecked!!
(Say it out loud)

Survivor: Texas Edition

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas Edition".

The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas then drive a circuit to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Brownsville, Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, Amarillo, Abilen...

Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day.

Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

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Alabama Wedding

Deep in the heart of Alabama, a son arrives to his father's house with exciting news.

"Paw, I met the best girl in the world, and we're about to get married!"

The father seems excited, and urges his son to describe her.

"Well, she's quick as a whip, funny as a bone, most gorg...

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus

The bartender says the the guy "we can't have that octopus in here".

The guys responds, saying "but this is a special octopus - he can play any musical instrument you tell him to"

So the bartender points to the piano and says "get him to play the piano then... and I'll give you a free ...

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Fucking in the aisles

A friend of mine worked at Winn Dixie back when smoking in the stores first became illegal.

Guy walks in smoking a cigarette and my friend saw this and said "hey, no smoking in the store!"

Guy said, "why not? You sell cigarettes here"

Friend says, "we sell condoms too but you do...

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Yay for bar jokes!

A bartender is bored at work, as it is a slow night. There are far fewer customers than usual, and he still has another two hours before close. One of his patrons is quite drunk, but running low on money. The drunk man says "Hey barkeep! If you give me a free drink, I will recite all 50 states back...

A guy walks into a bar...

A man walks into a bar and hears piano music. He looks at the piano and can't see anyone sitting there, so he walks over and discovers a foot-tall man standing on the piano bench playing the tune of Dixie-Girl. The man thought that this was strange so he goes over to the bartender and asks where the...

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