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Dissapointed Jokes

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It's Bill and Hillary Clinton's fiftieth anniversary...

As they sat over a candle lit dinner, Hillary made a confession. "Bill," she says. "You know that box in the basement you told me never to open?"
"Yes" says Bill.
"It had been bothering me for years and finally curiosity won over. I opened it."
Bill sighed in disappointment. Hillary asked...

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

Three men were challenged to an art contest, they each had a piece of paper and a pencil, the theme was a TV screen, however, one of the men did nothing with his paper, when the judge saw it, he was dissapointed at first, but after he explained his idea to the judge, he was impressed and he won...

...Because it was Paperview!

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A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day...

She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years. His favorite: a sandwich on itallian bread, make with turkey, american cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo. The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife asks the same thing she always asks, “Hows the sa...

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I was at the pub with the lads and they were talking about blowjobs...

Having had somewhat of a sheltered upbringing I didn't know what that meant, so when I got home I said to my girlfriend "Do you know what a blowjob is?". She burst into tears and walked out of the room. I was very confused, and also a bit dissapointed as she had been sucking my dick at the time

A man is caught cheating in a Limbo tournament.

The organizer, hurt and dissapointed, asks him: "How low can you go?"

Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addiction Clinic

I can see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I've gotta say, I'm pretty dissapointed.

beautiful wife!If You Like Then comment it!

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered o...

A newlywed couple was on vacation when they heard about a prophet who lived in the hills nearby...

They were told by their hotel concierge that he always spoke the truth and could tell them their future, so, filled with curiousity, they went to see him. As they approached the hut, they noticed a terrible smell coming from inside but they pressed on.

The old man was sitting in a chair, wit...

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A fisherman ask another man if he has a light...

The other man pulls out a very large Bic lighter. The first man ask " Hey that's a nice lighter, where'd you get it?" The man replies ," You see that there bridge on the other side of the lake? Well if you go stand on top and scream 'Genie genie come out' a genie will come out and grant you any wish...

Joe was sentenced to prison for twenty years.

His first night at jail, after lights out, he heard someone say sixty\-one. All two hundred men in the cell block started laughing.  Then someone hollered thirty\-nine. The two hundred men cracked up with laughter.  Then someone yelled ninety\-six.  Once again an uproar of laughter.  So Joe asked hi...

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Brian is lonely and decides to hire a hooker.

He drives around until he sees a lady of the night who catches his eye. After going through some formalities she gets in the passenger seat and he asks how much she charges.

"For starters a handy is $375."

"Wow, that seems like a lot of cash for a handjob lady."

"Mister, do you...

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A guy is walking down the road...

When he finds a ladder going straight toward clouds.
He climbs it and finds a really ugly, disgusting woman.
Who are you? He asks.
Fuck me now or climb the ladder to success.
He climbs further and finds an average looking woman and asks her:
"Do you want me to fuck you?" ...

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My first joke post. nsfw. also long read.

so a japanese man living in the u.s. hires a hooker.

right before they get into it, the hooker asks the man a question:
"are you Japanese or Chinese?"
Confused and bewildered the man says
"Why do you need to know that?"
the woman replies
"Well I heard that Chinese men are grea...

Blonde gets a new job

A blonde walks into the job interview, and the boss says to her, "Alright, this is a pretty easy job. Basically, all you have to do is paint a dotted line down the middle of the road. Your minimum distance you should paint each day is 2 miles. Do you think you can do that?"

"Absolutely," the...

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A priest dies and stands in front of God.

A priest dies and stands in front of God.

God looks at the priest's ledger of good and evil and smiles after finishing it. Looking up at the priest, God says "I'm satisfied with how you've lived and how you've spent your life. I give you the option to choose — Hell or heaven?"

The prie...

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A Rare Dish

This is a long one.

An English cook is trying to build up his skills as a chef. He's been working for years learning all sorts of rare and unique dishes to serve at his mentor's restaurant.

One day a wealthy guest at the restaurant asks to meet the cook and says "While I enjoyed the me...

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