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Correl Jokes

They say correlation does not imply causation

But have you noticed how often sentences with the word "correlation" also have the word "causation"? I think there’s a link here

A large study shows that educational achievement and earned income strongly correlated with height.

A study carried out among hundreds of elementary school classes showed the tallest person in the room almost always had the highest income and education level.

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Not saying there is a direct correlation between Trump's election...

But the Chinese did say this would be the year of the Cock ages ago!

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Person 1 : I used to think correlation implied causation. Then i took a statistics class. Now I don't

Person 2 : I think the class helped

Person 1 : maybe

An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

A man named Eric Cole...

... discovered that there was a direct correlation between the amount of mayonnaise on his cabbage salad and how good it tastes.
He's calling this correlation Cole's Law.

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Two anti vaxxers die and arrive at thepearly gates..

St.Peter gives them two options " Get one question answered by God himself and go to hell or go to heaven blissfully" .

The first one chooses not to ask any questions but the second one decides to take a chance .

He goes inside the golden gates and asks God " what is the correlation be...

Why isn’t every man in a red suit with a beard Santa?

Because correlation doesn’t imply Claus-ality.

[science] Why was spongebob fired from his job as a chemist?

His absorbance had no correlation to his concentration.

I just realised something really coincidental.

Units of time can correlate to words of inferiority. For example,

* second = second (second place)
* week = weak
* fortnight = Fortnite

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The Sex Professor

A professor gave a lecture to a room of university students, entitled "The Correlation Between Sex and Happiness".

He was determined to try out his theory with a simple test, and so asked any students who had sex once a week to stand up. Those who did laughed sheepishly or giggled, and the p...

My ex told me we broke up because I'm too reliant on logic and refuse to acknowledge my emotions.

I told her, correlation is not causation.

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

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Survey About Sex and Happiness

Years ago, I did a simple survey. Basically, I was trying to determine how the frequency of sexual intercourse correlates to happiness. I went to my college campus and started observing people. I saw a woman who looked somewhat unhappy, so I asked "how often do you have sex?" and she said "once a...

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3 Guys in hell

This is the story of an engineer from intel, a guy from the pentagon, and a small skateboarder all three ended up in hell after signing a contract with the devil himself

so he says to them

\- I will give each of you a chance to go to paradise, but beware, no second chance, it's eith...

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So i thought i was good at math...

An old man at work today asked me if I was good at math, I answered yes. He then claimed that there was an imaginary fence of which a black rooster sat upon. He proceeded to ask me simple questions about this rooster;

Man: "how many feet are on the fence?"
Me: "2."
Man: "good, how many...

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A family of four sits down to dinner.

The son is fifteen years old and the daughter is thirteen. The mother is a school teacher and the father is an obstetrician. They say a quick prayer, and start eating.

The father starts telling his wife about an interesting new study he was reading about, suggesting a surprisingly strong corr...

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A joke told to me by my psychology professor...

I'll start by letting you know the backstory to this. It was the first day of class and my professor was giving a brief overview of physiological studies and theories. He then went into a very long description of a supposed psychologist who studied the training of dolphins and it went something like...

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My favorite medical joke

A radiologist, internist, surgeon and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time together. Huddled in their duck blind, they see their first bird in the distance take flight but don’t want to shoot something not in season. They quickly debate the best way to assure it’s truly a duck.

...

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