If I ever opened a car repair shop, I would call it "Auto-Correct".
Then I'd paint the floor with those red squiggly lines...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Car Repair at Walmart
A man and a woman had car trouble as they pulled into the Walmart parking lot. The man told his wife to go ahead and do the shopping and he would try to fix the car.
The wife finishes shopping after about 90 minutes and walks out to the parking lot. She sees a group of people gathered around ...
Saving on Car Repair
Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars. \- Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
A blonde tried to sell her old car...
She was having a lot of problems selling it because the car had 250 000 miles.
One day she told her problem to a friend she worked with. The friend told her,
“There is a way to make the car easier to sell but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde.
“O...
Penguin Needs Car Repairs
A penguin is driving along the highway when, suddenly his engine starts running rough and he sees smoke in his rear view mirror. He pulls off the highway and finds the nearest service station, and pulls up to the garage with the car shaking and sputtering. He tells the mechanic what happened, and th...
I used to work the front desk at this small car repair shop.
It was owned by a couple of guys, Jack and Jay. Both guys were really well known and liked around town but Jack never seemed to come into the shop.
People would come in frequently looking for Jack and I would tell them “Jays here but Jacks off all day.”
Jeremy Clarkson's 3 rules of car repair:
1. Always use the right tool for the job.
2. The right tool is always a hammer.
3. Every tool can be used as a hammer.
On the base a Private First Class (PFC) was working in the car repair shop. The phone rang.
He answered. The man on the phone asked, "When will my car be fixed?"
PFC: "Can't talk now I am working on some annoying General's car."
General: "Do you know who this is?"
PFC: "No."
General: "This is the ANNOYING GENERAL!"
PFC: "Well, do you know who this is...
The penguin and the mechanic
A penguin is driving a rental car through Arizona when, suddenly, the air conditioner stops working. The penguin, frantic with the heat, swerves into the first car repair shop he sees.
Penguin jumps out yelling, "Quick, quick! Drop everything and fix my air conditioner. I'm literally dying...
A husband and wife are driving down the highway after getting the car repaired. The husband says, “The ride sure is quiet since we installed the new muffler, isn’t it honey?”
“Mmmfff mmf MMMFFF!”
[OC]
Protection
A woman was driving Up North late at night when her car broke down. About a mile down the road, she saw a cabin in the woods. Two men came out.
"Can we help ya, miss?"
"Yes, my car broke down about a mile back. Could you drive me to the nearest town so I can get a tow truck?"
"...
A man sees his check engine light come on, and it is also misfiring as well....
He sees a discount car repair place and heads toward it. He sees a sign that says "Free check engine
light reset" but he knows he needs more than that due to the behavior of the car. So, he mentions
what is going on to the front desk clerk and hands over the keys. The man notices a ja...
Four students decide to skip an exam
Four students were attending law college and were quite used to cheating and exploiting to get better grades. Their final exam was due tomorrow and they wanted to get some extra time to hopefully enhance their grades.
The plan was simple: don’t show up tomorrow, spend the whole day learning ...
OB/GYN gets fired
OB/GYN doctor gets fired. And he is looking for a job and get an interview at a car repair shop. And the managers says
"If you take the carburator apart you get 2 points and if you put it back you get 5 points and if it works after that you get 3 point.But I'll only hire you if you get all 10...
Gynecologist that wants to be a mechanic.
My girlfriend's grandfather told me this beauty last night.
Bob no longer wants to be a Gynecologist and decides that a mechanic job would best suit him.
He attends a class on the basic of car repairs. After finishing the course Bob receives a grade of 150/100. Bob, confused, goes ...
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