UPJOKE
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My wife took a sales job with the cable company, so I divorced her.

I couldn't handle that she was screwing so many other people.

I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job...

We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5% raise.

Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, β€œBy the way, which companies are after you?”

I responded, β€œThe gas, electric and cable company.”

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