My wife took a sales job with the cable company, so I divorced her.
I couldn't handle that she was screwing so many other people.
I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job...
We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5% raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, “By the way, which companies are after you?”
I responded, “The gas, electric and cable company.”
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